By Madison Vain
Updated May 26, 2015 at 06:23 PM EDT
Credit: Lester Cohen/WireImage

If you’re among those who feared Jack White’s lack of touring plans would mean a lack of Jack White, he’s quickly spent his newfound freetime proving you wrong. Unfortunately, if you’re one of the few who still have a candle burning for a White Stripes reunion, he’s proving you wrong there too.

In an online chat on the Third Man Records vault fan club over the holiday, he answered questions as far-flung as “What’s your favorite film to take pictures with?” (Polaroid, FYI) to “Have you seen the most recent episode of Louie?” (no, FYI), to “Would you ever play with Meg again?”

In response to the last question, he says that not only does his former wife and White Stripes drummer not answer her phone, but even if she did, a reunion would still be out of the question. “That time is gone,” he said.

He also called out music festivals for controlling artist touring schedules. (Non-competes dictate that artists can’t play nearby the festival, often with a few months on either side of the date.) When a user called @ThirdSon referenced an episode of Louie in which the comedian referenced hating being on the road despite the necessity in his chosen profession, White responded with the following:

“@Jack White: @ThirdSon i’d say half the shows i play i’d rather not play. festivals for example. but i have to make the best of it and try to get inspired.

@Jack White: it’s hard when the people who organize festivals basically control my life.

@Jack White: i have to book shows around their offer that i can’t refuse

@Jack White: it’s very expensive to tour.

@Jack White: people think that’s how musicians make their money these days sadly, but it’s hard to on the road no matter what size you are”

As for that previously mentioned lack of touring plans, White said that he’d only being playing “only seated theaters for acoustic shows for the rest of my days”—and that the string of acoustic dates he performed to end his tour were the best of the year.

Oh, and as for the rocker’s favorite coffee shop in Nashville? “Any shop that has actual sugar, can’t stand that hipster anti sugar bulls–t,” will do.

As Consequence of Sound reported, the entire transcript can be found here.