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A private investigation revealed earlier this week that New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was “at least generally aware” of team staff deflating footballs prior to the AFC championship game against the Indianapolis Colts in January.

On The Daily Show Thursday, Jon Stewart questioned Brady’s rationale for lying about his knowledge of the Deflategate scandal. “Why?” Stewart asked. “You got four Super Bowl rings. You’re married to the biggest supermodel in the world. Your face, your beautiful face, is a wonder of symmetry, a Platonic ideal of beauty that can survive even the stupidest of haircuts.”

Stewart pointed to Michael Jordan as an example that “great ones don’t need to cheat.”

While Brady may still be digesting the information, Stewart expressed his shame in the quarterback. “You’re a Patriot, Tom Brady,” Stewart said. “A team named after the country’s most cherished post-9/11 surveillance act!”

Though the Patriots and fans alike believe Deflategate doesn’t take away from the team’s Super Bowl win, Stewart issued Brady a warning: “We as a country are going to be watching your balls like a hawk.”