By Samantha Highfill
Updated May 02, 2015 at 12:41 PM EDT
Credit: Mitchell Haaseth/ABC

So Grey’s Anatomy killed McDreamy. Now what?

That seemed to be the theme heading into last night’s super-sized episode. But within a matter of minutes, it became evident that this two-hour “farewell” wasn’t going to be a traditional Grey’s event. Instead, watching it brought up a number of emotions … and questions.

Why are we re-living his death? Oh god. Oh no. Make it stop. Why are we back in the hospital room watching Meredith unplug Derek again? Living this the first time was bad enough.

Why didn’t we see a funeral? So Derek had a funeral … right? There was a hearse and a cemetery. Meredith looked sad. Is that really all we get of that moment? Is this show trying to convince us that McDreamy’s death wasn’t a big deal by skipping over the grief of it all?

What was Bailey’s poem? There was a funeral! And Bailey read a poem! Why didn’t we hear it? Why didn’t I get to cry uncontrollably?

Why is Owen re-enlisting? So is Owen doing this as a result of Derek’s death? Even after he had PTSD?

April in the Army? Can that even happen? And suddenly April is going with him. I’m confused.

Why did no one come back? Was the woman sitting next to Mer at the funeral supposed to be Cristina? And if so, why didn’t we get to see her? Obviously, Cristina wouldn’t have missed this. In fact, I’m not sure Cristina would’ve left so soon after. And where’s Addison? Or Derek’s family? He’s dead, after all. Why aren’t I watching them all sit around and share stories as they work through their grief?

Is this even about Derek? 50 minutes later and I haven’t seen Meredith since she left town. Now Grey’s seems to be moving forward like a usual episode. Does this count as a farewell to Derek?

Why am I watching two women in the burn unit? Wait. I was kind of kidding before. Is this really just another hour of Grey’s? I’m spending more time with new patients than I am with Mer or the memory of Derek.

Where did Meredith go? I see palm trees. Why is that the only information I have? (Did I see “San Diego” written somewhere?)

What’s with all the parallels to Ellis? Ellis was Meredith’s antagonist in a lot of ways. Having Ellis as a mother is what made Meredith so dark and twisty. So why are we suddenly comparing Ellis cutting her wrists to Meredith bleeding during her pregnancy? Isn’t becoming Ellis her nightmare?

Should we be worried about Zola now? So if these flashbacks are all about parallels, does that mean Zola will grow up to be dark and twisty?

Are these flashbacks cruel? Derek just told Meredith that he wants to die when he’s 110, in her arms. That he wants a lifetime with her. I can’t handle it.

Why was this two hours? If it isn’t about Derek, why did it need to be so long? Just to accomodate the time jump?

What’s with all the season 2 comparisons? “Chasing Cars” is playing again. And “Grace.” Why? What is the connection between the season 2 finale and this episode?

Why was Mer’s baby so huge? That was not a newborn baby.

Why would Meredith name her baby Ellis? But really.

Was this the worst time jump on the show? If we’re just jumping time to get through the grieving process(/Meredith’s pregnancy), did it have to be so choppy and drawn-out?

Exactly how long has it been? And why do Bailey and Ben only talk about DNRs on major holidays?

Didn’t this show just “run from its feelings”? Arguably one of the greatest moments of this episode was Amelia finally breaking down after Owen gave her a speech about how we shouldn’t run from our feelings. But isn’t that what the show just did—by completely bypassing most of the emotion surrounding Derek’s death?

Why does this feel like a series finale? The final minute of this episode was its strongest. Watching Meredith put on Derek’s ferryboat scrub cap was heartwrenching. But it also felt incredibly final.

Okay, I lied about having 20 questions. 21: Two hours later, I repeat… now what?

Episode Recaps


Grey's Anatomy

Meredith. Alex. Bailey. The doctors are definitely in on Shonda Rhimes' hospital melodrama.

  • TV Show
  • 17
  • TV-14
  • Shonda Rhimes
  • ABC
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