Credit: Funny or Die

Last week, video surfaced of ESPN’s Britt McHenry insulting a towing company employee. “Yep, that’s all you care about is just taking people’s money,” she says in the video, “with no education, no skill set. Just wanted to clarify that.” Well, looks like David Spade had a similar meltdown—but luckily, his was a fictional one for a Funny or Die video.

“I bet you don’t have a crimping iron,” he tells the employee. “Down by the equator where it gets hotter, I get more famous. I don’t know why.”

Spade spends the entire three minutes hurling insults, and ends by flashing a five-dollar bill at the employee. “You ever seen a five before? Yeah, that’s Abe Lincoln. He was our 20th president,” he says. “You didn’t know that, did you? How was fourth grade when you dropped out?” Reminder: Lincoln was the 16th president of the United States.

Watch the video—full of condescending but creative digs—below.David Spade Also Freaked Out at a Parking Clerk from Funny Or Die