By Ariana Bacle
Updated April 09, 2015 at 07:20 PM EDT
Credit: Kimberly White/Getty Images

Tom Arnold’s friendship with New York Times writer David Carr, who died in February, began with drugs—a lot of them—in the ’80s and it ended with a recent (sober) visit with Arnold’s baby, Jax. “I don’t know for sure if David knew this was his last visit with me,” he wrote in an essay for The Hollywood Reporter, “because he treated every visit and every phone call like it might be the final one.”

Arnold, who went on to star in 1994’s True Lies, details their friendship’s beginnings in the essay—including a time when they took an eight-hour trip to get some drugs. “That journey took blind faith, fear of failure, creativity, abject curiosity, and balls of steel,” Arnold wrote. “All the things that made David a great writer.”

Both struggled with addiction—Carr wrote about his in 2008’s The Night of the Gun—and helped each other through recovery. “Even though we both had a couple bumps in the sober road, we never did anything around each other,” Arnold wrote. “Never lied, stole, cheated, or used. We loved and respected each other too much.”

Arnold’s lengthy remembrance ends with a sweet, simple quote from Carr: “‘I adore you, Tommy,'” he writes. “I adore you, too, David Carr.” Read the whole essay over at The Hollywood Reporter.