Kevin Mazur/WireImage
February 13, 2015 at 12:00 PM EST

Pop music’s preeminent sex icon of the ’80s isn’t a huge fan of Fifty Shades of Grey.

In a wide-ranging Q&A with Billboard, Madonna dished on myriad topics, from her forthcoming album Rebel Heart (out March 6), to her relationship with religion; it’s all worth a read. The 56-year-old was also asked if she’s read E L James’ erotic novel—color her unimpressed.

“It’s pulp fiction. It’s not very sexy, maybe for someone who has never had sex before,” she said. “I kept waiting for something exciting and crazy to happen in that red room thing, and I was like, ‘Hmm, a lot of spanking.’ “

Madonna continues her answer with one particular hang-up that isn’t quite fit to print.

Off that tangent, the singer was asked if her views on sex have changed the last quarter of a century: “Absolutely not. Nope. Sex is a wonderful, necessary part of life.”

Never change, Madonna. Though she probably won’t attend the film adaptation of Fifty Shades, released Friday, you can prepare for it by reading EW‘s review.

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