At the Critics’ Choice Movie Awards Boyhood once again had a good night, winning the Best Picture award, as did Michael Keaton, who was on stage three times to accept awards for Birdman. There were also some male strippers, but more on that a little bit later.
The awards, of course, happened the night of the Oscar nomination announcements, which means some stars came out following the news that they would not hear their names called out at the Dolby Theatre. The awards didn’t offer much of a corrective to the morning’s Oscar nominations, where the big news was the absence of Selma in a number of major categories. At the Critics’ Choice Awards Selma took home only one award: in the Best Song category for Common and John Legend’s “Glory.”
Birdman, however, which tied The Grand Budapest Hotel for most Oscar nominations, took home the most awards of the evening, while Boyhood‘s four wins echoed some of its successes at the Golden Globes. See the full list of winners here. The show also gave some special honors out. Jessica Chastain was named 2014’s MVP, while Kevin Costner was given the Lifetime Achievement Award and Ron Howard was awarded the LOUIS XIII Genius Award.
But, because you’re definitely now wondering, why were there strippers?
Strippers opened the show…and everyone was confused
Considering this isn’t the VMAs it was a little confusing when a group of male dancers came on stage and started grinding and ripping their clothes off to the shocked and confused faces of the celebs in the audience. Why was this a thing? Well, Michael Strahan, the host, has a part in the upcoming Magic Mike sequel. So: self promotion! Strahan began: “You didn’t really think I was going to go there, did you?” But by the end of the monologue, he revealed he was worried about being cut out of the movie, so he ripped off his pants and did a little dance himself. It was awkward, and Michael Keaton wasn’t afraid to acknowledge its awkwardness. When Birdman won for Best Ensemble, Keaton took the stage, and began, “considering how extremely uncomfortable that opening was…”
Jessica Chastain made a strong statement
Jessica Chastain was awarded the MVP award of the night and used the opportunity to make a statement, invoking the fact that the ceremony was taking place on Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday. “It got me thinking about our need to build the strength of diversity in our industry,” she said to applause. “And to stand together against homophobic, sexist, misogynistic, anti-Semitic, and racist agendas.” The speech was especially pertinent given the homogeny of the Oscar nominations that were handed out that morning, in which all the acting nominees were white. She concluded: “Martin Luther King Jr. said, ‘Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter,’ and I would like to encourage everyone in this room to please speak up. Thank you.”
Michael Keaton was up on stage a lot
Not only did Birdman win for best ensemble, but Keaton won both the Best Actor in a Comedy and Best Actor awards. During his acceptance speech for comedy he joked about how he was in a room full of critics, the same type of person that his character lambasted in the film. “I hope I don’t come off as cowardly when I say this, but I swear to God I had nothing to do with that scene,” he said. “It was Ed Norton’s idea.” And while it was undeniably a good night for Keaton, it apparently wasn’t free from mishaps. After his Best Actor, in which he thanked “anybody who has ever thrown me a solid,” he reportedly took a tumble.
Movies overlooked by Oscars got their chance
At least one movie snubbed by the Oscar nominations this morning got a chance to shine at the awards, as The Lego Movie won Best Animated Feature. “What a roller coaster of emotions today has been,” co-director Chris Miller said when accepting the award. Elsewhere, movies that were awesome that weren’t even on the cusp of Oscar conversation—but which we loved—got some recognition. The aforementioned Blunt won for her role in Edge of Tomorrow, while Jenny Slate of Obvious Child won Best Actress in a Comedy.
Emily Blunt and John Krasinski were adorable, and Blunt kicked ass
When Emily Blunt won for Best Actress in an Action Movie for her role as warrior Rita Vrataski in Edge of Tomorrow, her husband, John Krasinski, was waiting in the wings to present and ran onstage to congratulate her. She thanked her “sneaky husband for being okay with the fact that he was married to a veiny, sinewy wrestler for the duration of this film.” Krasinski apparently came up with her “favorite” line: “I’m terrified I’m going to wake up one morning and you’re benching me.” But being a badass, she added, “Which I did just to kind of freak him out.” Before leaving the stage she mentioned how great it was to be a woman in an action movie not playing a damsel in distress. “I will just forever be so grateful for the title of the ‘Full Metal Bitch,'” she said.
Wes Anderson was apparently on a train
Of course he was! It probably looked like this!
There was a lot of bad schtick
In a night full of terrible schtick, it’s hard to pick which was the worst. Was it Leslie Mann trying to goad Josh Gad into saying a line from Frozen? Was it Storage Wars‘ Dan Dotson being brought up on stage to list Kevin Costner movies while Rene Russo, suffering from laryngitis, stood to the side? Or was it host Strahan’s celebrity interactions and the show’s attempts at having social media savvy? Take your pick.
Judd Apatow talked about Cosby and cursed
Apatow was tasked with introducing Best Director, a gig which he said he got last minute. “They knew I’d be home tweeting about Cosby,” Apatow said, making note of his frequent references to the sexual assault allegations against the comedian on Twitter. “I was available.” Apatow then went on for a bit. He was censored out twice. The second time the camera stayed on Apatow, and lip reading made it easy to see just what A&E was trying to hide. “I thought Ron Howard’s speech was wonderful, and his kind words about his wife were beautiful,” he said. “Meanwhile my wife comes out her and basically says she wants to f–k a snowman.” (Those last three words weren’t audible.)