By Dalton Ross
Updated January 05, 2015 at 12:00 PM EST

[SPOILER ALERT: Read on only if you have watched Monday’s episodes of The Celebrity Apprentice.]

NBC decided to double our pleasure and double our fun by airing two episodes of Celebrity Apprentice this evening—just one night after airing the two-hour season premiere. But there was not much pleasure nor fun for the two people fired: Kevin Jonas and Gilbert Gottfried.

Kevin was fired after being the losing Project Manager on the first task, which required making an advertisement for some anti-clutter company I have never heard of called Neat. Kevin’s fatal flaw, however, was in selecting the people to come back to the Boardroom with him: his nemesis Geraldo Rivera (whom Trump would never fire because he is too entertainingly ridiculous) and Ian Ziering (who did nothing wrong on the task)— leaving The Donald no choice but to fired the former boy bander.

Then things got weird. Vivica Fox and Olympic champion Shawn Johnson got into a feud over Shawn’s period—I am not making this up—which culminated with Donald Trump of all people weighing in on the matter. Again, I promise you I am not making this up. But the women somehow still managed to win the second task (which was creating a product tasting presentation for Luvo, another company I have never heard of). That meant Gilbert Gottfried was as good as gone after he used his portion of the presentation to tell strangers all about having sex with his wife. BECAUSE WHY WOULDN’T HE?!? The two-hour installment was also notable for Geraldo’s attempt to break the land speed record for amount of times referring to himself in the third person. Consider the record shattered.

My full recap will be up soon [UPDATE: Dalton’s recap is now live], but feel free to weigh in with your thoughts in the meantime. Were the right people fired? And whom are you loving and loathing so far? Plus, for more Celebrity Apprentice news and views, follow me on Twitter @DaltonRoss.