By Ariana Bacle
Updated December 02, 2014 at 10:10 PM EST
Lady Gaga
Credit: Greg Allen/Invision/AP

There are certain things you probably don’t want to be asked on Howard Stern’s radio show. “I feel like you were raped by someone?” is one of them—but Lady Gaga didn’t hesitate to discuss her past, albeit vaguely, with the host when he posed the question.

Gaga was talking about her song “Swine”—one she says is about rape and demoralization—when Stern said it seemed like Gaga was hinting she had been sexually abused. “I think that’s what you’re saying,” he said. Although Gaga never flat-out said she was sexually abused, she did go into detail about the things she felt over the years and where she is now.

“I went through some horrific things that I’m able to laugh now because I’ve gone through a lot of mental and physical therapy, and emotional therapy, to heal over the years,” she told Stern. “I was a shell of my former self at one point. I was not myself.”

She went on to specify that she doesn’t want this story to define her. “I’ll be damned if somebody’s going to say that every creatively intelligent thing that I ever did is all boiled down to one dickhead that did that to me,” she said. “I’m going to take responsibility for all my pain looking beautiful and all the things that I’ve made out of my strife. I did that.”

Listen to the entire clip below.