Team Coco
November 14, 2014 at 03:08 PM EST

Nick Offerman is taking his rugged aesthetic into the Internet age for a Conan segment.  

“I think it’s time we got back to a more old-fashioned, more personal, more American way of communication,” Offerman begins. Hence he’s selling wooden emoji. They have the appearance of normal emoji, with all your favorite emoji characters, except they weigh about 14 pounds.

“Communicating with my solid wood emojis is just like using regular emojis, but much much harder,” Offerman explains. Assembly is required.

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