Memorable lines from ''Selfie,'' ''The Vampire Diaries,'' and more

By EW Staff
Updated October 24, 2014 at 04:00 AM EDT

”Cybersleuthing is kind of my forte, and if I can find out the true length of CeeLo’s arms, I can def find out some dirt on Joan.” —Eliza (Karen Gillan), Internet-stalking a co-worker in order to befriend her, on Selfie

”Sorry I called you the most annoying person in the world. I hadn’t met him yet.” —Damon (Ian Somerhalder) to Bonnie (Kat Graham), after someone attempts to kill him, on The Vampire Diaries

”I still don’t think we should have brought a gift to a second wedding, you know. It’s rewarding failure.” —Danny (Chris Messina), complaining to Mindy (Mindy Kaling), on The Mindy Project

”Just to clarify, though, we are engaged or we’re not? ‘Cause I’d just love to sort of take a victory lap around the Internet.” —Annie (Casey Wilson), after she botches Jake’s (Ken Marino) proposal, on Marry Me

”I got this one for delivering a baby with one hand while arm-wrestling a bear with the other. I got this one for saving some orphans from a fire, and going back in for their cribs, and then going back in for their toys.” —Joaquin, bragging about the medals he’s won, in The Book of Life

”Ideals are peaceful. History is violent.” —Army Sgt. Don Collier (Brad Pitt), to rookie soldier Norman Ellison (Logan Lerman), in Fury

”You raised a man from the dead, and Will found the perfect bagel. What a power couple.” —Marcus (Benjamin Stockham), video-chatting with Will (David Walton) and his doctor girlfriend, Sam (Adrianne Palicki), on About a Boy

”You read Pitchfork. I thought you got all your music news from Starbucks.” —Crosby (Dax Shepard), to Adam (Peter Krause), on Parenthood

”The gremlins are loud, talk in slang, are addicted to fried chicken, and freak out when you get their hair wet.” —Sam (Tessa Thompson), explaining how Gremlins is really about suburban white fear of black culture, in Dear White People