'Sexually Enlightened R & B Song' will get you in the oh-so-consensual mood
Good news, R&B loving feminists: Your bedroom soundtrack just got a whole lot more female-friendly (and funny). CollegeHumor has produced an R&B music video, starring Key & Peele writer Phil Jackson, that mercilessly parodies the genre’s misogynistic tropes with an overtly feminist spin. Jackson’s faux-serious delivery is hysterical—at one point he leaps around in nothing but socks and boxers, with the (attempted) grace of a ballerina and a sheer sheet billowing behind him.
The black and white production style and the smooth groove are spot-on, but it’s the song’s skewering lyrics—conveniently subtitled—that make it worth a watch. While the way Jackson croons the long-winded verses on beat is more hilarious than eloquent, the idea behind the humor is refreshing. Ladies and gents, be warned: After being “Sexually Enlightened,” you might never enjoy listening to R&B the same way again.
Here are a few gems from the pro-gender parity jam:
-On male dominance: “I’m gonna push you up against the wall and take you/Or you can take me, whichever you prefer/Sex is a conversation, not a lecture/And I wanna get freaky but on your terms.”
-On female sexual liberation: “Damn! You really do it like a pro/But your experience don’t make you a ho/In my opinion, your sexual liberation is healthy, and normal, and makes you human.”
-On media-created beauty standards: “I don’t care if you don’t shave your body hair/I mean I have my preferences, but that’s not really fair/I realize that those are culturally imposed by magazines, movies, and male-catered porns.”
-On birth control: “Taking control of your body, I admire that for real/I wish that I could take responsibility for that/But until they invent male birth control, let me pay for half.”
-On chauvinism: “I’ll never slut shame, snack shame, body snark, or mansplain.”
-On marriage: “And when I put a ring on that finger/You’ll also put a ring on my finger/Cause you’re not a piece of property for me to claim/And you bet I’m gonna insist that you keep your last name.”