July 11, 2014 at 04:00 AM EDT

”You are pale. It’s like somebody sprinkled a bunch of chest hair on a glass of milk.” —Justin (Brent Morin), to Danny (Chris D’Elia), on Undateable

”Changing your look and buying nice clothes can get you noticed by the media.” —Virtual Kim Kardashian in the Kim Kardashian: Hollywood app

”I have a boyfriend.” —Sookie (Anna Paquin) to Bill (Stephen Moyer), when he starts to get turned on as she’s drinking his blood, on True Blood

”Bless your heart. That’s what we say when we don’t like something.” —Roy (Cam Gigandet), to Jamie (Anna Wood), on Reckless

”Four dollars a gallon. Thanks, Obamacare.” —Tammy (Melissa McCarthy), trying to light her car on fire by dousing it in gasoline, in Tammy

”A ghost choked you in Switzerland?” —Nathan Fielder, working with a once-haunted Realtor, on Nathan for You

”Hanna, you’re not spontaneous. You make a Pinterest board before you change your nail polish.” —Aria (Lucy Hale) on Pretty Little Liars

”And now we say the chant we got from Google, and Ingrid drinks.” —Freya (Jenna Dewan Tatum), brewing up a job spell for her sister (Rachel Boston), on Witches of East End

”Maybe they think I’m smarter than I let on… and I’m not.” —Donny on Big Brother

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