Britney Spears gets sued, Carrie Fisher drops weight for ''Star Wars,'' and more

By Dan Snierson
Updated May 16, 2014 at 04:00 AM EDT

1. Jason Priestley says in memoir that he once came home to discover tall, skinny unknown actor named Brad Pitt in his bed; the two became pals
You can read all about their adventures in a 44-year-old Tulsa woman’s fan-fiction story titled “You Can’t Spell Brandon Without Brad: The Curious Case of Forbidden Bromance.”

2. Oprah unveils her first audition tape for The Oprah Winfrey Show from 1983
She just keeps pointing to herself and shouting, “YOU get the job! And YOU get the job!”

3. Backup dancer suing Britney Spears for allegedly breaking her nose during rehearsal for ”Work Bitch” video
Britney called the situation “distasteful,” her lawyer called it “meritless,” and Naomi Campbell said, “Why’d you go so easy on an employee?”

4. Atheist TV channel to launch this summer
The network will air the original series Touched by an Age-Old Fictional Depiction of a Supernatural Being in Human Form and Bill Maher reruns.

5. Carrie Fisher sheds 40 pounds in preparation for new Star Wars movie
Judge her by her size, do you? Hmm?

6. Zoe Saldana reveals that not only is she part of mile-high club, she once had sex between two subway cars on train back from Coney Island
At press time, there was a bidding war among Miley Cyrus, Rihanna, and Nicki Minaj to buy Zoe’s sex-life rights for their next video.

7. Larry King says CNN made a mistake in giving his slot to Piers Morgan, explaining, ”He made himself too much a part of the show”
The last time King took a shot at a Brit like that was with a musket in 1775.

8. Madonna posts photo on Instagram of her naked body barely wrapped in tape, jokes that she wasn’t allowed to attend Met Gala because of outfit
Met co-chair Anna Wintour called it “distasteful,” fellow co-chair Sarah Jessica Parker called it “shocking,” and Miley said, “Why so many clothes?”