“Applause” or “Roar”? Edward or Jacob? Whigs or Tories? History has long provided us with pop culture battles rife for debate, but there are some questions that have never even been posed to the general public. Until today.
In honor of the 10-year anniversary of the series finale of Friends, I’d like to propose a question that has been on my mind for roughly that same amount of time. It has to do with the November 2003 episode “The One with Ross’s Grant,” in which Monica and Rachel argue over a horrifying piece of art created by Phoebe.
Phoebe, in an effort to clean out her apartment, has awarded Monica ownership of her beloved Gladys — a 3-D painting featuring a half-bald, one-handed mannequin that kind of looks like Stefanie Powers on Hart to Hart. Because Rachel taunts Monica about said art, Monica sells it to Joey (Rachel’s roommate). In turn, Rachel convinces Joey it’s haunted, thereby placing it back in Monica’s possession. And then Phoebe walks in and everything is forever changed.
I conducted an informal poll of EW staffers asking which gal they’d rather have in their apartment, and found that my colleagues unanimously voted Gladys. I call COWARDICE.
The answer here is obviously Glynnis, who not only has two full arms but an array of baby dolls glued behind her. (The height of chic!) While Gladys just hangs there festering like a dream deferred, Glynnis is reaching out for you in style, like a seventh-grader at a middle school homecoming who just wants to slow-dance to Brian McKnight’s “Back at One” but also wants to leave enough room between you for the Holy Spirit. Plus, Glynnis sort of looks like Susan Powter, yet another good reason why she is a must-have for any modern New York woman’s apartment.
PopWatchers, end this debate and vote so I can get on with my Tuesday.
If you fundamentally disagree with my writing off of Gladys, please yell at me on Twitter!
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