And now for a story in which there are no winners.

When James Franco went on Howard Stern’s radio show Wednesday, Stern asked him whether he ever had sex with Lindsay Lohan. (After all, Franco’s name did appear on Lohan’s alleged “sex list.”) First of all: Gross. To everything about this. But! According to Franco, who sounded pretty upset to even discuss this, the two made out but never actually slept together.

Did the conversation end there? It most certainly did not. “I don’t know what to say,” Franco said. “We were at this hotel during a very dark period of her history. It seemed pretty damn clear that she liked me. …I’d come home late to the hotel and she’d come find me. I knew which room she was in and I’d see through the window like, ‘Oh there’s another party over at Lindsay’s,’ …and she would come out to the pool area and find me. It’s in the poem: she even broke into my room one time because she was so at home there, I guess they just gave her the key. And so 3 in the morning, I was sleeping on the couch, and I open my eyes, and there’s Lindsay in my room at 3 am. And it’s like, okay, what do I do now. [laughs]…I tell about this in the poem. It sounds so nerdy…. I read her a story….I will swear on my mother’s life I didn’t have sex with her.”

Franco — but mostly Stern — basically accused Lohan of being “crazy” for writing down people on a sex list. But, um, Franco wrote a poem about her — and references said poem throughout the interview. Lohan had something private stolen from her; you published your poem in a book. And not for nothing, the Lohan/Franco rumor mostly exists because Franco’s own “James Franco” character references hooking up with LiLo in This Is The End. (A rep for Franco didn’t immediately respond to EW‘s request for comment about this interview.)

Elsewhere in the chat, according to the Blemish, Franco both referred to Lohan as a one-time friend (probably why she was able to get into his room in the first place), and points out how “dark” she can get when she might be on something.”I was like a nice guy,” Franco said. “‘Like, okay, the kiss is enough.’ It was also sort of like, ‘What the hell am I doing?’ She was young.” Ugh.

In conclusion, everything about this is sad and unfortunate and, now, public. Listen to the clip — which has a little NSFW language — below: