It's not the new one swinging into theaters on May 2 (Or Sam Raimi's ''Spider-Man 3''); the prize goes to 1977's ''The Amazing Spider-Man,'' a flick shot as a TV pilot that is so awful, even Stan Lee disowned it... so would we


1. The Plot
Forget teen pathos. This Peter Parker is played by Nicholas Hammond (The Sound of Music‘s Friedrich!) as a grad student who adapts to his new powers with a shrug and a smile. When a New Age guru uses a mind-control device to turn citizens into criminals, Spidey swings (sloooowly, on what appears to be a white rope) into action.

2. The Costumes
These days, you can eBay a better Spidey getup than this saggy body stocking. The street clothes are worse: Is Peter going to save the day or head to Studio 54?

3. The Villain
Thayer David (Dark Shadows) plays the campy guru. He attacks by typing “Peter Parker — DESTROY!” into a computer.

4. The Effects
[Imagined conversation] F/X guy: “What if we shoot him crawling on the ground and then put a photo of a house behind him so it looks like he’s climbing up it?” Director: “Sounds great!”

5. The Acting
David White (Bewitched‘s Larry Tate) is a charmingly gruff J. Jonah Jameson, but Hammond would’ve needed superhuman acting chops to make the cheesy dialogue work. To a gang of deprogrammed lackeys: “I’ve reversed the microwaves. So let’s be buddies, all right?” No thanks.

6. The Climax
To defeat the bad guy, Spider-Man spritzes some sad-looking webbing at the mind-control antenna and…yeah, that’s about it. No breakneck hand-to-hand combat. No mega-explosions. And those martial-arts henchmen? They just give up and walk away.