Arnold Schwarzenegger, in full Ah-nuld mode in Sabotage, leads a group of rogue DEA agents — they drink! They fight! They wear cornrows! — who suddenly start showing up dead after $10 million goes missing from a raid. That basically means waiting to see which of your favorite TV stars (True Blood‘s Joe Mangeniello, The Killing‘s Mireille Enos, Lost‘s Josh Holloway) will meet their gruesome end first, and wondering how Sam Worthington, Olivia Williams, and Terrence Howard let their agents talk them into this.
The movie’s brutal violence and sexuality — Enos, especially, seems consigned to a special hell for wayward harlots — make Grand Theft Auto feel positively smurfy, and the Why Arnold Cries at Night backstory fits a little too neatly. Still, his banter with the game Williams, as a homicide detective, has moments of real chemistry, and there a few (not many, but a few) genuinely great lines. You won’t respect yourself in the morning, but you might have some dumb, lizard-brain fun. C+