By Ariana Bacle
April 08, 2014 at 04:30 PM EDT

By now, we all know that Beyoncé woke up flawless. And, apparently, that lyric isn’t an exaggeration.

Bey’s on the latest cover of Out magazine, and Out magazine really wants us to know that Beyoncé is great. Flawless, even! Although the cover story’s author wasn’t able to snag an in-person interview with the Queen, he did get to talk to her team — all of whom had nothing but glowing things to say about their boss. No, really: The overarching theme of the profile is “Beyoncé is perfect.” (Given the subject matter, maybe this shouldn’t be a surprise.)

Need proof? Here’s a list of every word of praise for Beyoncé contained in the story, ranked from (relatively) least to most gushing:

Stylist Ty Hunter on Beyoncé‘s humbleness: “The picture of [Beyoncé] is ‘diva, diva, diva,’ but I’ve been here this long because she’s not.”

On her office’s casual decor: “Decorated like a boutique hotel — plush sectional sofas, hardwood floors, an enormous contemporary chandelier — the most visible sign of Beyoncé are the 17 Grammys that line one end of the conference room and a cool portrait of a young Michael Jackson, her idol.”

On her positive message onstage: “With her all-female backing crew, the Sugar Mamas, Beyoncé gave her Scottish fans a show to remember that night, but she gave them something else, too: a role model.”

On Beyoncé being a self-described “modern day feminist“: “The claim has been much debated on blogs, and you have to admire Beyoncé for daring to go there.”

On how Beyoncé looks cuter than everyone else, duh: “A good number wear flashing plastic bows in their hair, echoing the one Beyoncé sports to fetchingly in the video for ‘XO.’ (In the damp Glasgow air they look less adorable.)”

On how no one has anything bad to say about her: “But in all of the accolades and glowing character references, you will also find little shafts of light that fall on their subject in illuminating and lovely ways.”

On the controversial “Eat the cake, Annie Mae” line from “Drunk in Love”: “For some, this strains Beyoncé‘s credibility, but Beyoncé‘s masterstroke was to find a way to ensure that none of this mattered, by getting her music to the fans before the critics, professional and self-appointed, had time to weigh in. That, too, is power.”

Creative director Todd Tourso on Bey’s influence: “When you have this type of leadership and muse and mentor, I think the sky’s the limit.”

Visual director Ed Burke on climbing an Egyptian pyramid with her: “She looked like Mother Teresa, wearing this white dress and a head wrap, and when we got to the top she sang Donny Hathaway’s ‘A Song For You.'”

On adding 10 new songs to her tour: “Most artists would spend months working out the kinks. Beyoncé took three days.”

On what we knew all along: “…for those who work closet to her, Beyoncé is, quite literally, flawless.”