Death Watch 2014: Spring survival odds
Code blue! Code blue! Fox’s Rake needs an infusion of 4 million Nielsen viewers, stat!
Oh, hello there. As you can see, we’re in crisis mode here at Death Watch Memorial Hospital. It’s that time of year when broadcast networks must decide whether to save their weakest TV shows. While dozens of titles have already been renewed, there’s still plenty of patients in their beds, suffering from a chronic lack of popularity. Take CBS’ The Mentalist: after six seasons of Patrick Jane being right about everything, we’re still not sure he and his dreamy hair are going to make it another year. And then there’s Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD, which seemed touch and go for awhile, but now we’re confident Agent Coulson is going to pull through. If fact, we’re just about to make our rounds, so join us as we return to the TV’s version of an ICU (In Cheerless Uncertainty).
How I Met Your Mother: Done and spun.
2 Broke Girls: RENEWED
Mike & Molly: RENEWED
Hostages: Nice CBS attempt to break out of its procedural drama grind, but it’s finished. CANCELLED
NCIS: LA: RENEWED
Person of Interest: RENEWED
Criminal Minds: RENEWED
The Big Bang Theory: RENEWED
The Millers: RENEWED
The Crazy Ones: Weakening in its new 9:30 p.m. slot. Right now, it’s still slightly more likely than not to return.
Two and a Half Men: RENEWED
Hawaii Five-0: RENEWED
Blue Bloods: RENEWED
The Amazing Race: RENEWED
The Good Wife: RENEWED
The Mentalist & Intelligence: Coin flip. Neither are performing well and both are on the bubble. The Mentalist is the older and more expensive of the two and considered just a tad less likely to continue.
Sleepy Hollow: RENEWED
The Simpsons: RENEWED
MasterChef Junior: RENEWED
Bob’s Burgers: RENEWED
Family Guy: Will return.
The Following: RENEWED
Almost Human: While far from a lock, we’re hearing the network is leaning toward booting up robot cop drama for a second season.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine: RENEWED
The Mindy Project: RENEWED.
New Girl: RENEWED
American Idol: Coming back, despite the dire media headlines — especially with fans not throwing things at their TVs this cycle and The X Factor gone.
Raising Hope: CANCELED
Enlisted: Unlikely to re-enlist.
American Dad: Moving to TBS.
Rake: Get a shovel.
The X Factor: CANCELED.
The Bachelor: More wine and roses.
Dancing with the Stars: No plans to stop the music for at least one more cycle.
Castle: Currently enjoying its most-watched season (so yes).
Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD: This was on the fence for awhile. Now we’re hearing these heroes are going to get rescued.
The Goldbergs: This ’80s comedy shouldn’t go out of style.
Trophy Wife: Not as likely as Goldbergs, but ABC really likes this one.
The Middle: The family will stay intact.
Suburgatory: It’s not a beautiful day in this neighborhood.
Super Fun Night: Last call.
The Taste: A big maybe.
Seattle Grace Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital will stay open.
Modern Family: Strong as oak.
Scandal: No shocking twist this season; Fitz and Liv will be back.
Nashville & Revenge: Considered “DVR hits.” Yup, that’s a thing now. Will likely return.
Last Man Standing: Against the tide because ABC doesn’t own it.
The Neighbors: With the tide because ABC owns it.
Shark Tank: Perfect Friday show and all-around utility player and recently hit a record high.
Once Upon a Time: Storybrooke has more tales to tell.
Once Upon a Time in Wonderland: CANCELED
Betrayal: ABC wants to forget this torrid affair ever happened.
Resurrection: Off to a good start.
Mind Games: CANCELED
Mixology: Still too soon to call.
The Blacklist: RENEWED
The Voice: Definitely.
The Biggest Loser: Will squeeze into another season.
Chicago Fire: RENEWED
Chicago PD: RENEWED
Revolution: Tough call. It’s owned by a rival studio, which doesn’t help. Perhaps a 13-episode season?
Law & Order: SVU: Should coast into another under-the-radar renewal.
Parks and Recreation: Certainly.
Community: Probably, though its recent numbers aren’t helping.
The Michael J. Fox Show: Not CANCELED officially.
Sean Saves the World: CANCELED.
Parenthood: Modestly heroic numbers against strong competition with almost no lead-in. Will definitely return for another generation.
Hannibal: This could be its last supper (at least, on NBC).
Dracula: Probably won’t rise again, yet NBC isn’t count-count-counting it out.
Believe: So far, so not good…
About a Boy: Definitely.
Growing Up Fisher: Too early still; probably better-than-even odds.
Crisis: With that title and those ratings, it’s more like Identity Crisis.
NEXT: The CW….
The Vampire Diaries: RENEWED.
The Originals: RENEWED.
The 100: Still too early to say, but looking pretty good so far.
Now we come to The CW’s five bubble shows, none of which are doing well — not even okay — in the ratings. But the net can’t cancel five dramas between now and the end of the season; it creates too many holes. And there are other factors besides ratings — like streaming popularity, show cost, and ownership. We’re pretty confident Hart of Dixie will return. We’re also pretty confident The Carrie Diaries will not. The three in between we’d rank in the following order, from most to least likely to return: Beauty and the Beast, Star-Crossed and The Tomorrow People.