We put ten pop culture questions to our favorite comedian to get inside Amy Schumer('s head)

By Dan Snierson
March 28, 2014 at 04:00 AM EDT

The 32-year-old stand-up returns for a second season of spicy laughs on April 1 with her Comedy Central sketch series, Inside Amy Schumer, and she’s not afraid to play the fool. (In the first episode, she tries to bargain with God to take away her herpes…while coming on to him.) Schumer — who’s writing and starring in the film Trainwreck, directed by Judd Apatow — gave us a sketch of her personality by answering a few probing questions.

1. You’ve guest-starred twice on Girls. Pick a road-trip companion:
A. Hannah
B. Marnie
C. Shoshanna
D. Jessa
She seems like she’d be really good at finding a party. And drugs.

2. You shoot Trainwreck this summer. Pick a title of an Apatow movie or TV show that best describes your love life.
That’s probably around where my number of partners is.

3. Whom would you rather have a night of passion with?
A. Roger Rabbit
B. Jessica Rabbit
He’s just, like, way more grateful, and I could use the ego boost. Jessica would just lie there and expect you to service her.

4. Pick the sketch show that had the biggest influence on you:
B. Monty Python
D. Mr. Show
I grew up with Gilda Radner. Loved Jane Curtin and that whole era. There were no rules. You fell in love with the people who were playing the characters while you were laughing your ass off.

5. What is your best breakup line?
”I can’t do this. You look too much like my dad.”
And I had the proof: I showed him a picture on my cell phone of my dad, and he was like, “Oh. Yeah. Crazy.” No questions asked.

6. Let’s say you’re cast in season 2 of True Detective. Who is your partner?
The French bulldog from Modern Family. That way I could have all the control and get to hang out with a dog all day.

7. Your most misguided karaoke experience:
That would be “99 Problems” by Jay Z. Especially doing the Southern-cop accent. It just sounded racist, and the whole crowd turned on me. Now I stick with “Son of a Preacher Man.” Crowd-pleaser.

8. If you could steal a prop from any show, it would be:
Probably whatever prosthetic they used on the show Hung.

9. What is the weirdest thing in your freezer?
When I was a little girl, I would wet my Barbie doll’s hair and make it stand straight up so she looked like Frankenstein. So I always had a Barbie doll with her hair sticking straight up in my freezer. I don’t know why I did that.

10. Mean Girls or Heathers?
Oh, that’s sooo hard. Can I choose to die?