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March 26, 2014 at 05:00 AM EDT

What a set of bookends! True American, that green shirt, a hallway embrace. I can’t say I saw it coming. I can’t say I’m 100 percent on board. But I also can’t say it’s not the right decision. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, stop reading now because SPOILERS about Tuesday’s episode of New Girl lie ahead. If you’ve seen “Mars Landing” and want to feel feelings with me, click through…

It’s been a rough week, y’all. Love is falling on its knees all around us, both on TV and off. Most relevant to this conversation, though, is that Jess and Nick are no longer a couple. I’m kind of heart-hurt about it. I really liked those two, and it seemed like such a whimper of a break-up — which kind of gives me hope it’s only temporary. Confession time: Having myself been in an “I love you, but we really shouldn’t be together” relationship (who hasn’t?), it’s difficult to cut that cord. Maybe it’s better that Nick and Jess ended things while they could still be friends. (If only it had been before Jess had seen the Schmidt-icles.) But seriously, how are you folks out there feeling? As you read, please do bring your thoughts, and tissues, to the comments.

The seeds of discontent were sown after a night of True American-induced heavy drinking. It was a truly joyful, rambunctious start to the episode (see Dotables). The next morning was less joyful and decidedly less rambunctious. Everyone felt like garbage, and there were about two full minutes of glorious acting by Zooey Deschanel and Jake Johnson as Jess and Nick sluggishly squirmed around in bed, grumbling and barely able to speak from their crippling hangovers. It’s those moments in hindsight that make me realize how much I’ll miss these two as a couple. My favorite part:

The roomfriends woke up abruptly when Sadie called and ordered Jess to get to her godson Jacob’s first birthday party ASAP. After putting on her finest found-on-the-closet-floor bikini top and floral button-down, Jess was ready to go. One hitch: Nick hadn’t assembled Jacob’s birthday present Jess bought two weeks prior. Nick was confident he could use his hobo handyman skills to sort it out in five minutes… 10 minutes tops… but, because Jess gets emotional when she’s hung-over, she suddenly got weepy about the disappointing Christmases to come for the children she imagined having with Nick one day. Wait, what?

Jess tried to pretend her fantasies about the future were fairly low-key and non-specific (you know, like how Jess is… ever). Except: “We live in a house by a lake. We live in a town with a sense of history, but not so much history that the locals are suspicious of new people. [We have] two small children who are so incredibly creative they named themselves. We don’t need to discipline the kids because they’re so afraid of disappointing us… [and] if there’s a horse out back, you’re not gonna get any guff from me.” Yep, just passing thoughts…

Naturally, Jess’s super-detailed vision of the future freaked Nick out a little. He tried to play it off, which ironically caused things to escalate. Over the course of the next few exchanges, it became clear — and, more to the point, explicit for the first time — that Jess and Nick have very different philosophies on just about everything. His desire to be a long-haul trucker and/or resident of Mars (not to mention his pejorative use of the term “girly”) might never jive with her hopes to move to somewhere like Portland or San Francisco and send her children to school… as opposed to making the young’uns grind away in the yard until they “beg for” an education.

NEXT: Into the crevasse… 

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Zooey Deschanel plays lovable Jess, who is plodding through life with a good group of friends.
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