By Samantha Highfill
Updated March 21, 2014 at 12:00 PM EDT
Credit: ABC

Spoiler alert: If you haven’t watched the March 20 episode of Scandal, stop reading now!

I want to start this thing on the right foot, so in honor of full disclosure, I will admit that at the end of last week’s Scandal, I wanted James to die. Well, I didn’t want him to die, but if it came down to him and David, I was hoping that James would be the one to go. It wasn’t anything against the character — I actually love James and think Dan Bucatinsky is ridiculously talented — but I knew it would create a more interesting arc if James were the one to go. What was the alternative? Watching Abby walk around all depressed about David’s death? Yeah, I wasn’t feeling it.

So, the good side of Thursday night’s horrendous death was that I, more or less, got my wish. However, 60 minutes later, I wanted to take it all back. I don’t know about you all, but watching James’ first meeting with Cyrus and being reminded how great and complicated their relationship was, made me miss James before he was cold in his grave. Other than Olivia’s romantic adventures, Cyrus and James really had the only other relationship we were invited to be invested in. Sure, I love Abby and David, but we don’t get nearly as much insight into them as we did with Cyrus and James. Their late-night fights and incredibly unhealthy dynamic always made for pretty incredible television.

Also, as Olivia once put it, Cyrus is the president’s attack dog, and the only place where we fully got to see his softer side was through his love for his husband. Without James, I’m worried that Cy will go too far. And I really don’t want to dislike Cy. I’m not saying I will, but without those glimpses to his softer side, there’s the potential for that character to do something truly unforgivable. It’s not that Cy hasn’t done truly unforgivable things in the past, but at least we got to see him regret his actions and repent for them. Now what? Whom will he go crying to? Here’s hoping it’s Olivia with a bottle of wine in hand.

Putting the future aside, at the end of Thursday night’s episode, we were forced to watch James take his last breath. Because Jake had to make it look like a carjacking, he had to be sloppy, which meant James suffered. And in his final moments, James was most worried about his daughter. I think this was the first time in my life that I said, “Yay!” when a character was shot and then regretted saying it less than an hour later as I cried my eyes out.

James might not have been as much a part of the fold as David was at times, but I’m going to miss that man. And his absence also makes me very, very worried about what’s going to happen to his daughter. All I know is that David and Olivia better take down B-613, because I can’t handle anymore emotional whiplash of this sort.

What were your thoughts on James’ death? Vote in the poll below, and then hit the comments!

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