Meanwhile, Jess had secured Coach a job overseeing her middle school’s volleyball team. He had all the qualities: “I don’t like kids. I don’t like teaching. I just like paychecks.” No surprise, Coach was way too hardcore (threatening to murder the kids’ families, for starters), but he actually really enjoyed the job.
Upon seeing that Jess was taking on extra work (like doing IT quick fixes and painting over graffiti that was definitely not corn on the cob), Coach also took it upon himself to teach Jess how to be more assertive in asking for her dream job as vice principal. Cue a series of scenes of Coach screaming at Jess and spiking a volleyball in her face — the latter unintentionally, it must be noted.
The irony was twofold: Jess’s principal made it pretty clear no one actually wanted the job she’d been prepared to toil for years to score. But, more to the point, getting the gig actually put Jess in the position of having to fire her own roommate (the school had to make budget cuts, and he’d been the last one hired). Jess’s betrayal resulted in a lot of crying children — who apparently loved Coach’s threats that he’d eat their faces off — and plenty of disapproving squints from Winston. It also resulted in a crying sesh at the bar with Coach that emboldened Jess to re-hire him and march to the team’s volleyball game against Pasadena, where Coach resumed his duties as a terrifier/motivator of children. Jess’s boss was insulted by her actions, but a little teamwork and creative thinking offered up a few ways to save money while retaining Coach. (Principal: “God, you frost my cookies.” Jess: “Thank you!”) It was an indisputable happy ending — and then Jess got another spike to the face.
In the other five minutes of the half hour, Cece agreed to go on a date with with a hot, boat-building, 20-year-old Australian. Perhaps there’s more to come from this particular plot development, but for now its most redeeming feature was bringing back Ben Falcone as Cece’s horny gay boss and giving him the chance to say, “Get outta here, you delicious bastard!”
NEXT: “Nick loves it in the caboose, yes he does…“