By Erin Strecker
February 14, 2014 at 09:17 PM EST

Most cheesy Valentine’s Day cards featuring a celebrity or movie character are made by people impressed with how they can force movie phrases into pickup lines. (Here’s looking at you, Bellatrix Lestrange.)

Today, James Franco took out the middle man and made his own corny/sleazy card, uploading the above photo to Instagram alongside the message, “I’m down for 127 hours with you, girrrrrrrllllllll (boyyyyyyyeeeee).”

Never forget: James Franco was nominated for the Best Actor Oscar for 127 Hours. Also never forget: He hosted the Oscars that year, something he would probably like you to forget.

While I appreciate that Franco doesn’t discriminate in his V-Day lovin’, I can’t help but wonder: Is 127 Hours really the best film of his for sex puns? He cuts off his own arm at the end of that movie! No thank you. Surely there are better Valentine’s Day messages based off Franco movie titles. Just off the top of my head, James, we’ve got:

-Without your love, this is the end.

-Let’s have a Date Night.

-I’ll show you something great and powerful.

-It’s like I’ve Never Been Kissed before you. (Yes, he was in that movie.)

Eat, Pray, Love. (This one works on its own.)

-Something Something Something…Kink.

James Franco is a very, very busy man. Help him out by leaving your best Franco film-related Valentine’s Day lines in the comments. Bonus points if you can work in Franco’s own cheesiest romantic film, Tristan & Isolde.