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I have just about had it with this troll. Shia LaBeouf — or as I find it easier and more reasonable to call him for some reason, Shia Beowulf — will not stop fake-apologizing on Twitter IN THE WORDS OF OTHER PEOPLE. Since admitting he plagiarized Daniel Clowes’ comic Justin M. Damiano in a short film, LaBeouf has been lifting his fake-apology language from Eliot Spitzer, Russell Crowe, BP CEO Tony Hayward, Alec Baldwin, Shepard Fairey, Mark Zuckerberg, and perhaps the most trustworthy source of all: Yahoo Answers. And he’s at it again with three new snippets of terrible performance art today.

Who’s Actual Plagiarist Shia LaBeouf copying now? Let’s check it out (and then please never follow up on him ever again)!

This is what porn star Mr. Marcus tweeted in 2012 (the tweet has since been deleted) — via Jezebel

Like, huh? Why? Let’s continue. I guess.

This just appears to be English. Weird.

Sharp Twitter user Mark Harrison, who also knows how to Google “celebrity apologies,” points out this is what Jade Goody said to the Indian community after she was accused of racism towards her Celebrity Big Brother housemate Shilpa Shetty.

In conclusion: WHO CARES? This is nuts. I’m done.