By Breia Brissey
December 17, 2013 at 03:30 PM EST

The Mischievians

type
  • Book

In October, Academy Award-winning author William Joyce released The Mischievians, a book about those tiny creatures that create, well, mischief and make life annoying. (See: The Remote Toter, who steals the TV remote, or The Endroller, who uses up all the toilet paper. I can confirm these creatures are living in my apartment, so they must be real.)

With Christmas just around the corner, Joyce created three brand new, holiday-themed Mischievians. Take a look at the creatures, complete with descriptions written by Joyce himself. These new Mischievians may not bring holiday cheer, but they can certainly be the scapegoats for all of the holiday mischief in your home!

UP NEXT: The Treedeedle De-Delighter

THE TREEDEEDLE DE-DELIGHTER

After all the pain of untangling the Christmas lights has passed, you’ve carefully enveloped your tree with the perfectly clustered and spaced points of twinkling bulb-ed perfection, and you stand back and look at your tree, your beautiful, magnificent tree.

It glows as bright and beautiful as a constellation. NO! A Galaxy!

Then….one string goes dark!  The effect is ruined! There’s a Dark Hole in your field of Christmas stars!

And why?! A Mischievian called The Treedeedle De-Delighter has zapped one bulb. ONE BULB!!!! But which one? Ahhhhh. There are many lights in your yuletide galaxy. Search on, oh star voyager. The heavens are endless.

UP NEXT: The Tangler of Infinite Woe

THE TANGLER OF INFINITE WOE

Happy Holidays! It’s time to light the Christmas tree! Aren’t you excited?! You picked out the perfect tree! It fits just right! Time to put on the lights! Yippeee!!!

The lights! The beautiful Christmas lights! Ah hah! You find the box you store them in! Huzzah! Open her up! The light strings will be twined so methodically they’ll unfold as easily as a freshly pressed shirt.

Right?! Riiiight?! RIGHT?!…….NO!!!!! They are hopelessly, endlessly, horribly, unendingly twined, twisted and tangled by a Mischievian called THE TANGLER OF INFINITE WOE.

By the time you manage to unknot the Christmas lights your yuletide spirit is darker than Scrooge’s. Your temper is snapped. Your children now fear you. You are now THE DARK SANTA.

UP NEXT: The Cardnapper

THE CARDNAPPER

You get a gift card. For Christmas! Hooray! For a massage, a meal, a toy, a game, whatever.

You must present THE CARD so that you may receive your holiday bounty.

But…on the day you decided to get your massage, meal toy, whatever, WHERE IS THE CARD??!!

It has been swiped, pilfered, procured, picked, plucked, and or napped by the Mischievian called the CARDNAPPER. Does he redeem the card? NO! He hides it in the back of the closet, or in the bottom drawer, or somewhere under something where you will not look until the store from which the card was purchased NO LONGER EXISTS!!!!

The Mischievians

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  • Book
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  • The Mischievians
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