Played by: Shannen Doherty (left), Kim Walker (right), and Lisanne Falk (not shown) Words to vile by: ''Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast?''…
Credit: Everett Collection

What is your damage!? If this news doesn’t make you want to dust off your Big Fun album, conduct a lunchtime poll, or simply play a rousing round of croquet, then you’re being a real cooze.

Heathers: The Musical, the stage adaptation of the 1989 cult-classic dark comedy about teen suicide and scrunchies, will make its New York premiere at Off Broadway’s New World Stages. The limited engagement will begin previews March 17, 2014, in anticipation of opening night March 31.

The musical, which enjoyed a sold-out premiere in Los Angeles earlier this year, features book, music, and lyrics by Laurence O’Keefe (Legally Blonde) and Kevin Murphy (Reefer Madness). Andy Fickman will direct, with choreography by Emmy winner Marguerite Derricks.

What is the story of Heathers, you ask? The original comedy stars Winona Ryder as Veronica Sawyer, a sardonic misfit who finds herself hanging out with Westerberg High’s most popular clique, a trio of shoulder-padded hotties all named Heather. When Veronica meets the mysterious J.D., she finds herself accidentally responsible for launching a string of deaths that become suspiciously in vogue among the high school hierarchy.

Heathers was also ranked among the top five in EW’s list of the “Greatest High School Movies of All Time.” The Los Angeles production starred Barrett Wilbert Weed as Veronica, Ryan McCartan as J.D., Sarah Halford as Heather Chandler, Kristolyn Lloyd as Heather Duke, and Army Wives‘ Elle McLemore as Heather McNamara.

Below, watch the glorious number “Dead Gay Son” from an early iteration of the show, presented in concert style at Joe’s Pub in 2011. (Note: Items you see or hear in this video may or may not actually be in the show anymore, but I don’t care because this song is perfect.)

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