By Lanford Beard
Updated October 08, 2013 at 12:00 PM EDT
Alexei Hay/Fox; Mary Ellen Matthews/Fox

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

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Some of our favorite TV characters are often unlucky in love. They just can’t seem to find The One — but what if The One is on another show altogether?

New Girl‘s Winston Bishop (Lamorne Morris) has had a rough go of it this season. After his beloved puzzles made a mockery of him and his booty call cuckolded him, Winston was relegated — as of last week — to “jokingly” suggest inviting his cat Ferguson on group dates with his roommates. Put more simply, Winnie needs a woman!

He doesn’t have to look far. Bumping right up against New Girl, Fox’s freshman comedy Brooklyn Nine-Nine boasts a similarly pitiful singleton in Detective Amy Santiago (Melissa Fumero). The no-nonsense NYPD officer is demonstrable successful, but it’s unfortunately in the vein of FBI agent-turned-Miss Congeniality Gracie Lou Freebush (née Gracie Hart). While Santiago doesn’t need a man to define or complete her, think how much more relaxed and well-rounded she’d be with one.

I have to admit, I’m springboarding off the coupling of Morris and Fumero in a Fox promo video (click through and scroll down to watch the segment). As they rapid-fire quiz each other, the two actors show they have amazing chemistry. Then, when I gave it deeper thought, I realized their characters might, too. Below, five reasons why Winston and Santiago are a match made in sitcom heaven.

1. They’d make beautiful — or at least hilarious — music together.

When Morris mentions the desert in the promo video brought to mind everyone’s favorite Winston clip of all time: his impromptu car-jam to “Defying Gravity.” I have no idea whether Fumero can sing, but what can’t Winston make better by singing it out? Nothing. The answer is nothing.

2. They’re both crazy-driven. (Emphasis on the crazy.)

The commitment Winston displays for his pranks is only matched by Santiago’s dedication to busting criminals. They’d push each other to excel — even if it meant a few badgers (or, more likely Winstons) were hurt in the process. Plus, Winston really could use some help on those puzzles — the kind for which I suspect Santiago’s solution-oriented mind would be perfectly suited.

3. She’d force Winston to step up his game.

Daisy did some solid groundwork in helping Winnie improve his pick-up skillz, but there’s still plenty of row to hoe. We’ve already seen that Santiago suffers no fools. Given her police academy background, she could fashion him a pick-up boot camp. With his newly smooth moves, he’d never be so hard up he has to make eye sex at strange women ever again — even if Santiago doesn’t turn out to be his forever person. But let’s just assume it will. With that in mind…

4. Two words: Beautiful. Babies.

If that angel of angels North West has taught use anything, it’s that some couples should are brought together simply to procreate. In fact, I’m pretty sure Winston and Santiago’s offspring could give li’l Nori a run for her (boatloads of) money… or make an aesthetically future boyfriend — in my fanfic-y dreams, at least.

5. So Winston can stop spending so much time with that darn cat.

I said this up top, but it bears repeating: Winston really needs some human companionship. Ferguson won’t last long if he’s subject to that much love and affection. It’d be too much for any creature. (Well, maybe except one of those kittens who ambled its way to Schmidt’s teat).

Your turn, PopWatchers: What other crossover loves would you like to see? No love between consenting adult TV characters is too outlandish! Let it be known in the comments below.

Episode Recaps

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

A group of ragtag cops — led by Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg) — run the 99th precinct of the NYPD.

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