If you miss the season 3 premiere of Key & Peele tonight on Comedy Central, you better avoid the Internet and the water cooler tomorrow, for fear of hearing the most quotable lines and hilarious plot points before you get a chance to enjoy them yourselves.

Keegan Michael Key is living that exact nightmare right now: While his wife is in Europe, he promised to avoid watching the latest Breaking Bad until she got back — meaning he has yet to see “Ozymandias,” one of the most thrilling hours of television ever. Now, he’s walking in a veritable minefield of spoilers everywhere he goes. “I hope she understands the sacrifice that I am making,” Key told EW today. “She gets to go to France, and I’m sitting here on my ass not watching Breaking Bad.”

His comedy comrade Jordan Peele, meanwhile, is reveling in Key’s discomfort. “The major difference between Keegan and I is that he can’t lie,” Peele said. “He has, like, a moral compass, especially to his wife. He just won’t lie. For me, this would have just been taken care of. I’d just watch it and play it cool and have to watch it twice. … It’s fun to watch someone with morals squirm.”

The moral of the story: Don’t be that guy! Below, Key and Peele share six reasons fans definitely need to join them (and their many alter egos) for tonight’s premiere:

+ Your favorite characters are coming back. Fans will “definitely get a nice dose of Meegan and Andre,” Key says of the perpetually squabbling couple. Other returning characters include the Auction Block duo (“That’s kind of got a Django vibe to it,” Key says), Cedric and Levi from The Wire parody (“The gentlemen who coined the phrase ‘Where my dookie go?’,” Peele explains), and, of course, President Obama and his anger translator, Luther. Speaking of Luther …

+ Michelle Obama has an anger translator too. “We’re taking Obama and Luther out of the East Room,” Key reveals. “We’re going to be going to a much more personal part of the White House. We’ll not only be meeting Michelle; we’ll be meeting Michelle’s anger translator.”

+ There will be musical numbers. In tonight’s premiere, the duo’s first musical target is Les Miz. “We feel like the way our director and crew executed this Les Misérables scene, it’s just going to make our show look so pimp,” Peele says. “You can’t do this on a sketch show. It’s movie-quality visuals.” In next week’s episode, meanwhile, look out for your favorite players from the East/West College Bowl to make their own version of the infamous “Super Bowl Shuffle.”

+ Key and Peele have amassed a serious celebrity fan club. One of their biggest fans? The leader of the free world. “Of course, the man himself, Obama,” Peele says. “The big guy.” Liam Neeson(s) and Forest Whitaker both saw the sketches that mentioned them and still like the comedy duo. Other celeb fans include: Al Pacino, Don Cheadle, James Spader, Louis C.K., and Kevin Hart. But not everyone’s a fan: “We had Billy Dee Williams on our show; he still doesn’t know that Key & Peele exists,” Peele jokes of the Star Wars star.

+ Some famous faces will make cameos. In addition to Williams, Colin Hanks and NBA star Metta World Peace also appear this season, as does Jason Schwartzman, who “is so different from all the characters he’s ever played. He is the nicest guy in the world,” Peele says. “But in the piece, he puts a little English on it,” Key adds. “He seems nice, but you go, ‘But is he a jerk?’ We’re not gonna tell you. You’ll see. You’ll have to stay on Schwartzman watch.”

+ There’s more Key & Peele to love. “We have 13 episodes this season,” Peele said. “We’re very excited; that’s our longest season so far.”

Key & Peele season 3 premieres tonight at 10:30 p.m. on Comedy Central.