By Annie Barrett
Updated August 14, 2013 at 05:00 PM EDT
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Oh, God, Comedy Central’s Drunk History is so hilarious if you’re in the right mood, and probably even if you aren’t. “Detroit” featured guest stars Luke and Owen Wilson (pictured, playing the Kellogg brothers) along with Jason Schwartzman as Ralph Nader, Richard Reihele as James Roche, Ken Marino as Houdini, and Alfred Molina as Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. So, what’d we learn?

KEY ‘DRUNK HISTORY’ LESSONS for the week of AUGUST 14, 2013

–John Kellogg (Owen Wilson) used to advise the patients of his sanitarium in Battle Creek, Mich: “You need to take at least two solid, ropey poops per day.”

–The power shift between Will Kellogg (Luke) and his overbearing brother in their epic cereal war occurred when Will triumphantly declared, “I’m gonna put sugar on my shit, and sell ’em. F*ck you.”

Drunk History host Derek Waters looks not too shabby in drunk narrator Paget Brewster’s grandmother’s Halston:


–One of my favorite drunk narrators, Tommy Blacha, confirmed that Ralph Nader (Jason Schwartzman) was “the original nerd warrior,” who’d used his half-million dollar settlement from the government to finance a group called the Nader Raiders. (“Wasn’t it Raider Naders?” wondered Waters off-camera.) “No. Raider Naders would be… people that… raided Naders.”

(Way to not take the bait, Tommy!)


–Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s most effective way of dealing with his skeptical friend? “Houdini, shut the f*ck up.”


–Everybody barfs.

(This is Lucius Dillon, by far the drunkest — and therefore most effective — of tonight’s narrators.)


I’m realizing that the nature of the show causes this “recap” to make even less sense, in a bad way, than what Drunk History manages to do in a good way. So you should probably just watch the show! “Detroit” and the rest of the Drunk History episodes are available on iTunes or on Comedy Central (repeats air Sundays; new episodes air Tuesdays at 10).

Have you been watching Drunk History? Which has been your favorite? (Last week’s “San Francisco,” starring Kristen Wiig as Patty Hearst, was also great. They’re all funny!)

By the way, it turns out “Luke and Owen Wilson” have 156,000 Google results compared to “Owen and Luke Wilson,” which have 139,000. BORING. See? Sober history is the WORST.

Drunk History

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