By Darren Franich
Updated July 31, 2013 at 04:55 PM EDT
  • Movie

Two new Hollywood movies are releasing wide in theaters this week. Smurfs 2 is the CGI blue-people sequel that was made because you were the lazy parent who took your kids to see Smurfs 1 instead of reading them a book story or teaching them how to survive in the post-apocalypse. 2 Guns is an adaptation of a comic book which stars Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg as a Denzel-y DEA Agent and a Wahlberg-y Navy SEAL, respectively. What do these two movies have in common? Absolutely nothing! But the number “2” is in both titles, so we had local image guru and reality-smasher Jef Castro cook up a mash-up poster from a terrifying universe where Hollywood just released one movie this week. Gaze into the grinning dead eyes of Wahlberg Smurf, and lose yourself forever!

2 Guns

  • Movie
  • R
  • 100 minutes
  • Baltasar Kormákur