Seriously. Seriously.

According to the New York Post, California collectors Gary Zimet and Eric Gazin are selling this priceless historical document on behalf of its current owner, who purchased it for an undisclosed price in 2011. The 14-page list is one of only four copies still in existence; two of the others are located in Israel’s Yad Vashem Holocaust museum, while the third resides in Washington, D.C.’s Holocaust Museum.

Zimet and Gazin told the Post that they’re hoping to fetch as much as $5 million for the list. “We decided to sell the list on eBay because it has over 100 million worldwide members, and this is a global story,” Gazin explained. “There are billionaires using the site, wealthy celebrities. We like the platform.”

Bidding began last night at a measly $3 million; so far, there have been no takers, perhaps because the auction page warns that there will be “no returns or exchanges” on this lot. Bummer!

I feel like there’s more to say here — about how horrifying it is to think of someone making a tidy profit from Holocaust memorabilia, about how selling the list over the freakin’ Internet is an insult in itself, about the specific brand of insanity that leads anyone to spend thousands, let alone millions, of dollars on a single eBay lot. (See also the site’s most expensive item ever sold: a 405-foot steel mega-yacht, which went for $168 million total.)

Then again, all that stuff can be conveyed just by writing the two words that came to mind as soon as I saw this story: Oy vey.

Schindler's List
  • Movie
  • 197 minutes