John Malkovich
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What’s it like being John Malkovich? Well, I’m sure that the lauded actor doesn’t even know. Malkovich has always been known as a bit of an enigma, one of those few character actors whose name you actually know, but whose films always seem to be at the tip of your tongue. He’s also an accomplished quadruple threat (yes, he even fashion designs). Oh, and he’s cool enough for this whole thing to exist.

In honor of Red 2‘s upcoming release (which I will probably only see because of the fact that Helen Mirren, Mary-Louise Parker and Catherine Zeta-Jones are in a movie TOGETHER), Malkovich conducted a Reddit AMA, answering the most random questions with the most random but Malkovich-y like responses. With topics ranging from bad scripts to bald heads to space travel to Bernie Maddoff, the Q&A is a hoot. Here are some of the highlights:

“What is the worst script you have ever read?”: “i was given a script in france, by a seemingly rather disturbed young man. let’s just say it was not good. also, one night, a woman came in to our yard in france around 2:00 am. i was outside on the phone talking to my producing partners in los angeles. she gave me a script called elle tue,(she kills!) which was about the lead character killing a movie star. it was written like it had been done with a butcher knife in red ink. also, it wasn’t very good.”

“What are your thoughts on space travel? Would you like to go into space?”: “yes, i suppose i would. but don’t you have to go to the bathroom in your space suit and everything? i’m just not sure i could do that?”

“I once had a friend who, after watching Being John Malkovich, was thoroughly convinced you were a fictional character. I don’t really have a question, just wanted to share! Thanks for all of your amazing work; I am a big fan. :)”: “i kind of am a fictional character….”

“Do you ever see things like that scene in Being John Malkovich where everyone has your face and is constantly saying Malkovich Malkovich Malkovich?”: “oddly enough, i happened to see that very scene when i did a kind of q and a for the toronto film festival a couple of weeks ago. a fairly nightmarish experience. sort of my idea of hell.”

“John, what time of day can I pour a drink and not feel bad?”: “sorry, i would say at least you have to wait until 7:00 pm. i mean if i can do it, so can you. cowboy the f–k up!”

Check out the full AMA here.

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