In case you haven’t been following the news, it’s been a rough week out there for TV shows.
Late last week and into the weekend, the broadcast and cable cancellation ax fell — and it fell hard, leaving a bevy of talented actors without a place to call a home this fall. That’s where we come in.
After a scientific brainstorm (aka: this morning over a bowl of Cheerios) we’ve thought up a few humble suggestions for TV’s now-homeless talent.
First up: Megan Hilty
Megan Hilty (Smash)
Cast her on: Dallas
While Hilty’s pipes are a rare gem, the current singing-friendly shows on air — Glee and Nashville — wouldn’t be the right stage for her to showcase her talent. So let’s send her to Southfork, where Hilty could bare her Broadway-sharpened claws to a host of worthy foes.
Next: John Cho
John Cho (Go On)
Cast him on: Parks and Recreation
Cho’s geeky charm was a bright spot on this dark comedy starring Matthew Perry. In fact, he reminded us a lot of Adam Scott’s Ben Wyatt. Long-lost college buddy, anyone?
Next: Scott Michael Foster
Scott Michael Foster (Zero Hour)
Cast him on: Grey’s Anatomy
Foster’s post-Greek return to TV was a bit of a disappointment. We’d rather see him on a show where his ability to play a witty-yet-sympathetic character can be put to use. Paging, new intern!
Next: Lucy Punch
Lucy Punch (Ben & Kate)
Cast her on: Community
Even amongst the talented cast of Ben & Kate (which included an Oscar winner and the daughter of two Hollywood legends) Punch held her own and often stole every scene she was in. She’d be in good company among the Greendale clan, which, if the finale is any indication, might need some new bodies next year.
Next: Theo James
Theo James (Golden Boy)
Cast him on: The Killing
The best part of Golden Boy was watching rebel Det. Walter Clark in morally compromising positions. The Killing would be a nice change for James to get dirty — and do a lot of standing in the rain. We’d be okay with that.
Next: Vanessa Williams
Vanessa Williams (666 Park)
Cast her on: Glee
How has this not happened yet?! [Insert your witty retort here.]
Next: Damon Wayans, Jr.
Damon Wayans, Jr. (Happy Endings)
Cast him on: How I Met Your Mother
With HIMYM going into its final season it might be hard to find a place for Wayans among this super-strong ensemble, but for some reason, the idea of Wayans sharing the screen with Jason Segel puts incomprehensible amounts of joy in our hearts.
Next: A Southland duo
Ben McKenzie/Michael Cudlitz (Southland)
Cast them on: Chicago PD
Breaking our self-imposed rule of not placing actors on shows we haven’t actually seen yet, we’re going to grant ourselves one pass here because this pair comes with their own uniforms! Also, casting these two on this spin-off would make it an immediate stand-out among the new shows.
Next: John Noble
John Noble (Fringe)
Cast him on: Scandal
So, Fringe wasn’t technically canceled (it was given a proper send-off) but that technicality makes no difference in our situation: There is no John Noble on TV. That’s not OK. So we’d find him a home on one of TV’s fastest-growing dramas. Mysterious Park Bench Guy has nothing on Noble. Plus, after Jasika Nicole’s turn as Huck’s wife, he’d be the second Fringe alum to get Scandalized.
Next: Andrew Rannells
Andrew Rannells (New Normal)
Cast him on: The Good Wife…or send him back Girls
We’re beyond ready for Rannells to showcase his more serious side, but as one EW staffer put it: “I would note that now [he] is also free to come back to Girls, as most people want.” You decide, world.