By Annie Barrett
April 16, 2013 at 12:00 PM EDT
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Blog Image Credit: Everett

Studies have shown that Hidden Gems of the Week, EW.com’s collection of reader-submitted ridiculata, is the best way to enjoy Dancing With the Stars without ever having to turn it on. It’s a visual feast of sparkles, fringe, and stunning awkwardness. Ready to go down the rabbit hole? Behold this bountiful smattering of Visible Gems!

MOST VALUABLE GEM (MVG) OF THE WEEK:

“The side by side Lens reminded me of the scene in Jurassic Park when the old man who created the park introduces the video package explaining the science and he multiplies.” —Liz, endorsed by Siobhan McNally, Amy in KC, Prplrose5, Wiltasaurus, Kerbear7474, Kevin M. Kawa, Argem

“The lower half of Len disappeared when he duplicated himself.” —MissKitty

“Val’s look to the camera before the big group dance at the beginning of the show – was he worried the gods of Mirrorballus weren’t pleased?” —Wiltasaurus

“Maks did his trademark eyebrow spit swipes!!” —Liz, endorsed by orville1970, Wiltasaurus

“Maybe we need to differentiate: Maks is Seks on a Stick, Tristan is Sex on a Stick.” —DonnaW

“How dare they tease us with Gleb in ONLY the opening dance!” —Amy in KC, endorsed by Fringe Fairy, Fridgedancer, Lindaleriel

“Emma’s rehearsal shirt has some frightening polka dots.” —DonnaW

“Some of them were cut out, right? Maybe she was going for a mirrorball effect.” —Amy in KC

“Some of them looked like the cartoon drawing of what “germs” look like in one of my kids’ story books.” —Jem H

NEXT PAGE: The Gavin DeGraw Hat Collection is making a killing this season!

“Ingo and Tony are both wearing hats from the Gavin DeGraw Hat Collection during rehearsal.” —Amy in KC, endorsed by Wiltasaurus, Fridgedancer, orville1970

“Love seeing Tony in the shadows really cheering Ingo on — he’s such a great guy.” —JAYBES

“Kym Johnson’s ginormous ass-bow on her costume!  Looks like her bum was all wrapped up as a present!” —Tnmiller916, endorsed by Stacisuzanne

“Kym’s butt bow looks like the tail of some glittery animal native to Planet Mirrorballus.” —DonnaW

“Ingo and Tony clinking EMPTY(!) cocktail glasses! I was expecting a glittler mojito, not… well… nothing.” —Wiltasaurus

“Hi Tot-emacher! Ingo’s son is adorable!” —Colleen, endorsed by DonnaW, JAYBES, Wiltasaurus, Gltrgrrl

“A woman sitting behind Bruno was wearing a black cap that covered the top of her head and made it look like a bon bon.  I had to eat some chocolate after they kept showing her.” —pancake, endorsed by Prplrose5, Jem H

“I saw Meryl Streep/Lindy Chamberlain of A CRY IN THE DARK/EVIL ANGELS in the center of the audience behind the judges!!!! The dingo ate my gems!!” —Zach

“I”m sitting here trying to come up with a hidden gem doppleganger for the guy sitting behind Carrie Ann on the right but all I can think of is ‘Darn that guy is HOT.’ Can we make him a ‘Star’ and assign him a partner?” —Liz

“It looks the the twin of Lloyd Eisler of Skating With the Stars fame! I thought it might even be him, but I think Lloyd looks older and has less hair up top. What is extra funny about that is that right after Ingo talked about ‘skating by,’ Tom referenced that show! ‘Yeah cuz we tried a skating show, and that didn’t work.'” —Jem H

NEXT PAGE: What’s creepier: the mannequins or how many mannequin movies you know?

“Jacoby crawling over to the judges’ table!” —Colleen

“Shirtless with suspenders is becoming THE look for the season. I’m completely ok with that (provided Andy Dick doesn’t feel compelled).” —orville1970, endorsed by SpeechTeacher89, BV

“AAAAND Jacoby also totally grabbed his crotch after they got their scores.” —Please

“Victor looks like he’s wearing Capri pants under his red shorts.” —DonnaW

“Oh my gosh, so creepy. Has Macy’s officially taken over the ballroom?” —emily t, endorsed by Colleen, orville1970, Liz, SpeechTeacher89

“It’s Autons! Rarely seen this far outside London though. And with our own Doctor 9 doppelganger in Ingo too.” —TardisMama

“There was also a made for TV Christmas movie where Olivia Newton John was a mannequin and turned into a human to become this little girl’s mother. Creepiest concept ever, and yet, I loved that movie! ” —Kerri

“Also made me think of Life Size with Tyra Banks where she transforms from a Barbie into a human.” —Colleen

“All I see is Tristan in a Tux!” —Fridgedancer

“Carrie Ann’s reaction to Bruno saying ‘erect.’ I don’t think Bruno understood way. CA’s mind was in the gutter tonight. Mine too :)” —gemtastic15, endorsed by Jem H

NEXT PAGE: Bert Dance No. 1, the ghost of Julianne’s hair, selfies, a butt

“Tom pointing out the gems for us: Hidden mirror cam!” —Fridgedancer

“The blue sparkly princess sitting next to the dude trying to make a clap happen during Aly’s dance.” —RifaG

“Whitney and Aly’s samba dresses looked WAY more ‘Girl on Fire’ than Katniss’ did.” —kellen

“Tristan’s butt while stretching, oh what a gem.” —Fridgedancer

“Tristan is not impressed.” —kellen, endorsed by Argem

“Peta’s hair looks like Julianne’s from her tiger samba with Apolo from season 4!” —Liz

“Oh, Julianne’s was MUCH bigger!” —duranmom

“Fisherman Arrested for Using Wife as Shark Bait.” —Wiltasaurus

“Peta’s costume is from the ABBA-nightmare line of ’70s wear.” —orville1970, endorsed by Jaime, Decloo

“Peta’s ass looked like molten mirrorballs for sure!” —Jem H, endorsed by gemtastic15, Jmanser3, Bettyski

“I endorse Peta’s ass!” —Kevin M. Kawa

“Peta’s hairdo looks like cauliflower. Or Cabbage Patch Kid gone wild.” —Wiltasaurus

“Bert had a special Pigeon Dance on Sesame Street…anyone else remember?” —Dragon647, endorsed by Fridgedancer, Jem H

NEXT PAGE: More evil forces to haunt Derek, Derek’s eyebrows, Bert Dance No. 2

“I love Bruno’s ‘losing it’ laugh!” —Dragon647, endorsed by Fridgedancer, orville1970, Amy in KC, Wiltasaurus

“Is the man a few rows back from Carrie Ann wearing some kind of referee’s uniform?  Maybe he’s there to help the lift police make the call.” —gemtastic15, endorsed by Amy in KC

“As Derek is completely frustrated with Kelli during practice, his nemesis (Mark Ballas) has a face-splitting grin on his face in the picture in the background.” —iggy

“Tony and Melissa’s Crest smiles and sailor outfits in the poster silently mocking Kelli and Derek struggling to master the foxtrot!” —RifaG

“Derek and Kellie’s penguin walk…very reminiscent of Dick Van Dyke’s in Mary Poppins!” —Amy in KC

“Stoic Fake Pianist ‘playing’ during Kellie and Derek’s dance — he even has sheet music!” —Liz

“Derek’s face while impersonating Kellie was super creepy. His eyebrows were like they were in the Wasp Face.” —Colleen, endorsed by RifaG

“Andy Dick really is dressed like Zorro, mustache and all. But he reminds me a little more of the Dread Pirate Roberts..” —Amy in KC

The Princess Bride is always endorsed!” —orville1970

*Bonus gem: Fringe Fairy in the audience up there….*

NEXT PAGE: Cardigans as capes? Plus: Who will find the MISSING ROYAL JEWELS?

“The fake newspaper at the beginning of Zendaya and Val’s dance said ‘Royal Jewels Missing.’ There’s no need to fear! The gem hunters are here tonight!” —Liz, endorsed by gemtastic15, BV, Kevin M. Kawa

“So. Much. Innuendo. I just can’t handle it.” —orville1970

“More like the Chermkovskiy brothers lose their family jewels due to a couple of misplaced ganchos in the Argentine tango….” —Siobhan McNally, endorsed by Wiltasaurus

“Anna’s face after Zendaya and Val’s Argentine tango. Basically: ‘Oh yeah, we KILLED.’” —Wiltasaurus

“Zendaya was wearing a super light-colored eyeshadow that read as white. Whenever she closed her eyes she looked like a zombie with open eyes and no eye balls. More creepiness in tonight’s ballroom.” —Decloo

“It sure looks like a manly dance when they’re using what appears to be women’s cardigans as their capes! haha.” —Amy in KC

“Sasha is the hottest Hamburgler in all the land.” —kellen, endorsed by Amy in KC, emily t, orville1970

HBO; CBS; The CW

“Andy and Sharna Barbie doll puppets! How much more Barbie-fied can the ballroom get? NOT ENOUGH, I say.” —Amy in KC

“Well, apparently, Andy Dick IS the Ken of the ballroom!” —SpeechTeacher89

LIFE-AFFIRMING GEM (LAG) OF THE WEEK:

“Val and Maks dancing the Argentine Tang-bro!” —kellen, endorsed by gemtastic15, AwesomeGem, tango2, BV, Wiltasaurus, Argem, Bettyski, emily t, duranmom, Jem H, Veil, Fridgedancer

Thank you, DANCMSTRs one and all, for this fabulous heap of gems!

XOXO,

Fringe Fairy

Follow @EWAnnieBarrett

Read more:

All ‘DWTS’ recaps on EW.com

‘DWTS’: All Hidden Gems of the Week!

Top 10 ‘Dancing With the Stars’ Pros of All Time — PHOTOS

Tristan MacManus tours the ‘DWTS’ rehearsal space — EXCLUSIVE VIDEO

Annie Barrett’s ‘DWTS’ Facebook page

Episode Recaps

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  • 03/21/11
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