Movies: April 12, 2013
PG, 1 HR., 36 MINS.
A young cavegirl and her embarrassing family join up with a more evolved cavedude to escape the breakup of Pangaea. C+ — Keith Staskiewicz
G.I. Joe: Retaliation
PG-13, 1 HR., 50 MINS.
Technocratic action fluff done with style. When Cobra infiltrates the White House, killing most of the G.I. Joes, it’s up to Dwayne Johnson’s Roadblock to lead our heroes back. B- —Owen Gleiberman
PG-13, 2 HRS., 5 MINS.
An alien takes over the body of a 17-year-old girl (Saoirse Ronan) in this adaptation of Stephenie Meyer’s sci-fi novel. The movie sounds watchable, but it’s a postapocalyptic dud: arid, inert, inept, and dumbly preposterous. F —Owen Gleiberman
Jurassic Park 3D
PG-13, 2 HRS., 7 MINS.
To mark its 20th anniversary, Steven Spielberg’s Jaws-with-claws creature feature gets tarted up in 3-D. While I couldn’t be happier that a new generation can see the maestro’s white-knuckle joyride on the big screen, the high-tech makeover doesn’t add much to the movie’s most dazzling scenes, like the T. rex-versus-SUV chase. And yet it’s still Jurassic freakin’ Park. It’s fantastic. A- —Chris Nashawaty
No Place on Earth
PG-13, 1 HR., 23 MINS.
While exploring caves in Ukraine, Chris Nicola found old shoes, muddy tools, and one of the most remarkable untold stories of WWII: how dozens of Jews hid from the Nazis for 511 days underground. Despite its unnecessary reenactments, the inspiring doc soars when it reunites the elderly survivors to share their testimony. B+ —Chris Nashawaty
Olympus Has Fallen
R, 1 HR., 59 MINS.
A brutally rote Die Hard-in-the-White-House thriller. C —Owen Gleiberman
NOT RATED, 1 HR., 43 MINS.
This amazing doc consists entirely of superfans of The Shining talking about the movie’s secret themes, hidden clues, and resonant quirks. Even more than The Shining itself, it places you right inside the logic of how an insane person thinks. (Also available on VOD) A —Owen Gleiberman
Tyler Perry’s Temptation
PG-13, 1 HR., 51 MINS.
There’s nothing subtle about Tyler Perry’s latest finger-wagging sermon on fidelity. Jurnee Smollett-Bell stars as a married relationship counselor (the irony!) lured into sin by a smooth mogul (Robbie Jones). Kim Kardashian essentially plays herself as a bitchy, materialistic co-worker. C+ —Chris Nashawaty
NOT RATED, 1 HR., 36 MINS.
In Shane Carruth’s edgy prismatic tale of two lost souls trying to connect, the filmmaker, severe and fine-boned, plays the divorced Jeff, and Amy Seimetz is Kris, whose barely readable despair teeters into instability. Carruth weaves a vivid emotional texture out of handheld streetscapes and quasi-sci-fi images of maggots writhing through bodies, but he creates an experience that’s more unsettling visual poem than movie. B- —Owen Gleiberman