Transformers 4 Blend

In a move sure to prove devastating to the domestic robot-car industry, Paramount Pictures has announced that it will co-produce the upcoming Transformers 4 with China Movie Channel and Jiaflix Enterprises, marking the most high-profile example yet of Hollywood’s expanding relationship with China. In a press release, Paramount explains in extremely vague technical terms that it has entered into a “Cooperation Agreement” with the China Movie Channel, which will “cooperate with Paramount in broad-based support of the production of the film in China.”

The nature of this “broad-based support” is left vague, but presumably it will involve clearing out large stretches of major cities in China so Michael Bay can film a really important scene featuring several giant alien robot cars fighting about something while Mark Wahlberg fires a gun into the air and screams something like “Grab the Nexus! Crap, Decepticons!” while the fading sunlight dapples the sweat on his bare granite biceps.

Paramount’s announcement comes fast on the heels of last week’s news that Marvel will release an exclusive China-only special edition of Iron Man 3. (No, Finland, they will not be releasing a special edition for you, so stop asking.) Yan Xiaoming, Chairman of the China Movie Channel, says in the press release that the Paramount deal “is the beginning of a new era of collaboration with the Hollywood studios,” which is probably a subtle way of saying that someday in the not-to-distant-future Transformers 8 will exclusively star Chinese alien robot cars.

The press release also notes that “Michael Bay is among the most popular directors with Chinese audiences,” indicating that Chinese audiences have exactly the same highbrow taste in movies as Americans. Truly, we are all fellow astronauts on Spaceship Earth, at least until the alien robot cars destroy us all.

Follow Darren on Twitter: @DarrenFranich

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