Justin Bieber: Happy 19th birthday!
Today isn’t just the first day of March — it’s also the one-year anniversary of you officially not having to feel weird about being attracted to Justin Bieber.
That’s right: The Biebs turns 19 today. He’s reportedly celebrating the occasion by stalking shirtless around England before throwing a lavish, £10,000 (that’s $15,043 in real money) circus-themed party in an unnamed London hotspot.
There’s a certain poetry to this location — Bieber was born in London 19 years ago, albeit the one in Ontario. The theme, too, makes sense for someone who’s not a boy, not yet a man; a setting that combines clowns and a ringmaster plus scantily-clad acrobats and (presumably) booze perfectly represents Bieber’s in-between state. Though to really mark the occasion, he should probably sing about it in the desert.
So, how will Bieber spend his last official year of adolescence? If the past few months are any indication, probably by indulging in as much juvenile behavior as possible — groping his fans, sulking about not getting any Grammy nominations, wearing scrubby overalls while meeting world leaders and the world’s goofiest hat. Maturity is for over-the-hill 20-somethings, not baby-faced Canadians who can still reasonably be called “scamps” — and you can bet Justin’s going to exploit that to the best of his considerable abilities. Enjoy it while you can, kid… and don’t forget to drink plenty of water tonight.