Roasted On 'Family Guy'
Nominee: Philip Seymour Hoffman
Best Supporting Actor, The Master
Episode: ”Fifteen Minutes of Shame” (2000)
The Griffin family gets a reality show, but the family is replaced by more viewer-friendly people such as Tom Arnold and Hoffman, or, as Meg describes him, ”that fat guy from Boogie Nights.” See also: the 2007 episode ”Stewie Kills Lois,” in which Lois Griffin, on a cruise, says that she feels like ”that fat-ass British girl from Titanic” — only for husband Peter to insist that the character was in fact played by Hoffman.
Nominee: John Williams
Best Original Score, Lincoln
Episodes: ”Brian Does Hollywood” (2001)
The Griffins’ dog, Brian, becomes a porn director and attends the fictional Adult Movie Awards (a.k.a. the Woodies). One of the nominees for best soundtrack is Williams, who crosses his fingers for luck when his name is announced.
Nominee: Ben Affleck
Best Picture, Argo
Episode: ”Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High” (2005)
In one of the show’s regular ”cutaway” skits, Affleck asks Matt Damon to give him co-credit for writing Good Will Hunting, which Damon has just completed on his own. Damon points out that Affleck has ”done nothing but eat Breyers and smoke pot for the last six months” and demands that Affleck pitch at least one line. Affleck says, ”Okay” — and farts. He then asks if there is any more pot. (See also: the 2007 episode ”Peter’s Two Dads,” in which, after remembering that he has to play Henry VIII ”in 20 minutes,” Affleck says, ”Hello! Hello!” in an awful British accent, then declares, ”Got it!”)
Nominee: Denzel Washington
Best Actor, Flight
Episode: ”Mother Trucker” (2001)
Stewie and Brian cohost a zany radio show that’s peppered with sound effects. Their fun is interrupted when Stewie mistakenly plays an audio clip of Denzel Washington from Philadelphia (”After all, AIDS is a deadly, incurable disease…”). ”My God, what is wrong with you?” asks Brian. ”I swear to God that was supposed to be ‘Food fight,”’ says Stewie.
Nominee: Sally Field
Best Supporting Actress, Lincoln
Episode: ”Road to Rupert” (2007)
Searching for a lost teddy bear, Stewie and Brian hitch a ride with Smokey and the Bandit costars — and onetime lovers — Burt Reynolds and Sally Field. When they part ways, Stewie sarcastically wishes Reynolds good luck on ”tapping some of that hot, hot Sally Field tail.” ”Knock it off!” responds Reynolds. ”I don’t like it any more than you do.”
Nominee: Helen Hunt
Best Supporting Actress, The Sessions
Episode: ”McStroke” (2008)
After putting out a fire at a fast-food restaurant, Peter Griffin is rewarded with a lifetime supply of burgers. ”Free burgers!” he exclaims. ”Oh man, this is a way better offer than the one I got from Helen Hunt.” The action then flashes back to Hunt, at a bar, asking Peter if he wants to have sex. His reply? ”No-oh-oh-oh-oh. No, no, no, no, nooooo. No-oh-oh-oh-oh. No.” According to urbandictionary.com, the sketch has resulted in Hunt’s name being used as slang for ”turning down an offer with no exception.”
Nominee: Bradley Cooper
Best Actor, Silver Linings Playbook
Episode: ”Brian Writes a Bestseller” (2010)
In the DVD version, Brian bumps into Renée Zellweger, whom Cooper was then dating, at a restaurant — and broaches the possibility of Cooper appearing in a comedy he’s thinking about financing. ”We need somebody who’s not that funny and not that good-looking and that you forget about the second you leave the theater,” explains Brian. ”I think Bradley would be perfect for that!” she says. ”Are you sure?” asks Brian. ”Because we really need somebody who constantly seems like they’re about to be big but keeps not actually being big…”