By Darren Franich
February 05, 2013 at 09:38 PM EST

Yesterday, we dissected the 60-second preview for Fast Six Tank Furious which played during the Super Bowl. Today, because we’ve all been good little boys and girls this year, Universal Pictures decided to release an extended three-minute-plus trailer, which featuring scenes of magnificent devastation and, more importantly, the least girly girlfight ever caught on film. Below, the key shots from the new trailer:

The trailer begins with a tender moment between Dominic Toretto and a not-entirely-seen paramour. Presumably, that’s his Fast Five love interest Elena, the beautiful widow who also happened to be the only honest cop in all of Rio. If that is Elena, then Fast & Furious 6 has officially achieved the all-important Hollywood Hemsworth quota: She’s played by Elsa Pataky, a.k.a. wife of Chris Hemsworth, a.k.a. Mrs. Thor.

Hobbs interrupts Vin Diesel’s island idyll. This shot is important because it establishes that Hobbs is still sewn into the same Under Armour T-Shirt as he was in Fast Five. Unless this is like Haunted Mask situation and that shirt is part of his body.

Let’s meet the newbies, shall we? On the left is Joe Taslim, who played a police sergeant leading his squad through a building filled with criminals in The Raid: Redemption. On the right is David Ajala. He was in Dark Knight, and you weren’t. They’re part of Fast 6‘s nemesis crew, a team of auto-terrorists that Hobbs has been chasing “across twelve countries.”

Just to put things in the proper sociopolitical context, this is Joe Taslim fly-kicking Tyrese through a window.

Apparently, the Luke Evans crew isn’t just taking on military envoys. Based on the shot above, they’re also in the business of destroying whole city blocks. “The loss of life is unthinkable,” says Hobbs. So basically, the Toretto Crew have to save the world from the tyranny of British Dudes With Cool Cars.

In the last trailer, we saw Toretto reunited with his lady love Letty, played by Michelle Rodriguez, who was also brought back from the dead in the Resident Evil franchise. Now, it turns out that Letty doesn’t just take aim at Toretto: She shoots him. But, like, in the shoulder. Vin Diesel gets shot in the shoulder at least ten times a day. He doesn’t even notice it anymore.

Oh look, it’s Gina Carano! In the first trailer, the MMA fighter-turned-Haywire actress didn’t say anything or do anything. In this trailer, she still doesn’t say anything. She does, however, get into an insane UFC-style subway fisticuffs-and-legsicuffs battle with Michelle Rodriguez. Just so we’re clear: This movie is now a semi-sequel to both Haywire and Girlfight.

To put things in the proper sociopolitical context, this is Michelle Rodriguez tackling Gina Carano down the stairway of the London underground.

A car explodes, and someone wearing a leather jacket is blown away from the explosion. This is important, because a little bit later in the trailer…

…a car is run over by a tank driving about 200 miles an hour, and a person wearing a leather jacket apparently manages to jump from the car getting run over onto a different car. I’m pretty sure both of these people are Tyrese, and I like to imagine that the movie regularly cuts away to Tyrese being hurled through the air, backwards and forwards.

Follow Darren on Twitter: @DarrenFranich

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