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During Thursday’s Oklahoma City auditions episode (read my full recap here), colorful wackaloon Zoanette Johnson, “19,” brutally murdered the national anthem to the unfathomable delight of the American Idol judges, her pitchy runs eventually knocking featherweight pleasure hub Keith Urban onto the floor. At least she didn’t lip-sync it?

As far as we know, this is the only aggressively crazy contestant — or what I like to call a Charisma Monster — they’ve let through to Hollywood so far. Are you sold on her beauty and charm? Marvel at the way she transitions from a rueful accusation of President Obama (for not inviting her to the White House because “he needs another Barbie in there”), to an impatient “Come on, I got a lunch date,” to a grand reveal of her denim undies in a deep drop-it-like-it’s-hot squat, in the video below. Maybe turn the volume down….

Hoo boy. During that vocal disaster, I found myself vaguely amused by her antics but only in an “Obviously she won’t go through” sort of way. What the hell? It’s possible her voice could be reined in with some guidance, but I doubt it. Or maybe I’m being a big high school bully here, and Zoanette is big and fun enough that talent doesn’t matter.

Have you fallen in love? Do you think she made some salient political points? Discuss!

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