Amy Poehler
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Amy Poehler continues in her quest to take over your life.

The comedian, actress and aces award show host will write her first book, slated for 2014, according to the Associated Press. The release will be handled by It Books, an imprint of Harper Collins, and is described as an “illustrated, non-linear diary.”

That’s a nice phrase that also tells us basically nothing about what she’s working on. Here are three possibilities:

It’s just like Tina Fey’s Bossypants but blonde and shorter. To be an Amy-fied version of Fey’s essay collection, it will also have to be loopy, verging on ridiculous — but also exact and sunny side-up. (New idea: Amy launches her own line of omelets.)

It will help you become Amy Poehler. The new book comes complete with illustrations, remember, which can helpfully double as informal steps to Becoming Amy: the gorgeous blonde hair, the crooked smile, that bangin’ Hillary impression. Consider her release a visual aid.

It’s a just-right mix of personal recollections, showbiz anecdotes and you-at-13 drawings. This is the most likely option, which doesn’t mean it isn’t also the best. One suggestion: include at least one chapter on what George Clooney smells like.

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