By Breia Brissey
Updated January 17, 2013 at 12:00 PM EST
Credit: Ali Goldstein/NBC

It’s the final countdown! In “Florida,” Jack was still riding the high of defeating Kaylie Hooper to claim his rightful spot as Kabletown CEO. But since the promotion wasn’t official just yet, he was tying up some loose ends. That included a trip to Florida to take care of his mother’s estate. He invited Liz to accompany him, and she agreed in an effort to be more spontaneous. But the mentor/mentee got quite a shock when they discovered that Colleen’s live-in nurse, Martha, was much more than a nurse. At first, Jack believed his mother had been scammed. But twist! Mrs. Silly Colleen had really taken a female lover, and just failed to tell Jack.

While Jack attempted to process this new information, he and Liz had a heart-to-heart about their own strange, purely platonic, sister-ployee/work oracle relationship. (Martha assumed the two were married, so we got an excellent sight gag of them attempting to share a bed together, complete with Liz’s turtleneck pajamas.) Jack reminded Liz that their relationship was more interesting than a dating encounter would have been — sorry, Shippers! — and helped Liz realize she shouldn’t have any regrets. In the end, Jack had to rescue Liz from Harry Potter World, and he finally came to terms with his mother’s happiness. You know, normal stuff.

While Jack and Liz were away in the Sunshine State, Tracy and Jenna were left in charge. So naturally, a disaster was just around the corner. But it was worse than a disaster. It was the return of Hazel Wassername (a.k.a Richard Drench)! She filed a harassment suit against TGS, Tracy, and Jenna seeking $50 million in damages. NBC’s in-house counsel, Martin Lutherking (Tim Meadows), needed Tracy and Jenna to get the entire TGS staff to sign an affidavit stating they’d never witnessed or been a part of any inappropriate behavior. And they were successful with the exception of one holdout: Kenneth. He didn’t feel comfortable signing the affidavit because he didn’t want to lie. Tracy and Jenna convinced him that he had no choice. But after they saw the effect lying had on him, their guilt took over, and they let Kenneth come clean to Mr. Lutherking.

UP NEXT: The night’s best lines…

And all was right in the 30 Rock world for at least a hot second! Jack had a newfound understanding of happiness. Tracy and Jenna helped Kenneth be his best self. And Liz Lemon finally got some good news from Bev, the adoption lady: There were two children, a brother and a sister, Liz could adopt! She agreed to take both kids. Hooray! But before you go celebrating a happy ending, Hank Hooper showed up to issue two last statements in his tenure as CEO. 1) Liz looked glowing, did she get some sun?, and 2) he had to cancel TGS because of the lawsuit and PR nightmare she’d caused in her “den of sin.”

So before we get in to the night’s best lines and exchanges, I have to ask: Do you think Hank’s comment about Liz glowing is just excellent foreshadowing of a pregnancy? And more importantly, do you know anyone at Doritos?

Without further ado, the night’s best exchanges:

++ “He’s a 3-year-old boy from Transylvania. Stay with me. His name is Dracul. Hear me out. He is a hemophiliac with a sleep disorder…” —Liz telling Tracy about the child she might adopt

++ “I’m spontaneous. For instance, I started talking before I had an example of how I’m spontaneous.” —Liz

++ “Dear Doritos, what about just selling bags full of your dust? I could put it on chicken or fish.” —Liz

++ “…My grandfather’s purple heart. It’s terrible what alcoholism can do to the body.” —Jack, listing one of the items his mother left behind

++ “I saw this on Dateline. Next, we’ll be holding hands in adjacent bathtubs. Or maybe that was a Cialis commercial…it’s all a blur.” —Liz

++ “If you want to know why JAG wasn’t on this week, press three.” —The automated recording from Florida Emergency Services

++ Jenna: “Start from the beginning.”

Martin Lutherking: Well, the plaintiff’s deposition alleges that…”

Tracy: “No. Further back. What kind of dinosaur was your grandfather?”

++ Martha: “She was an angel that fell from heaven.”

Jack, whispering: “So was Lucifer.”

++ “I understand what you’re getting at, Lemon. There was a particularly youth-oriented priest in my childhood parish who went after everybody but me. Even fat Ralph, and he ate his boogers. I felt so unpretty.” —Jack

++ “[Happiness has] never been the goal, Lemon. The goal has always been money or prestige or, when playing hockey, the goal.” —Jack

++ Liz: “Hello, Beverly.”

Bev: “It’s just Bev, Liz. My mother died while naming me.”

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30 Rock

Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, and Tracy Morgan star in the Emmy-winning comedy. You want to go to there.

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