'30 Rock': Jack battles his teenage nemesis and Octavia Spencer stops by
The end is nigh, nerds! As a part of her lifelong quest to have it all, Liz started fertility treatments. But of course the hormones from the injections made her extra crazy and forced Lemon to reconsider her options: She could go it the old-fashioned way, wait at least another four years to adopt a newborn, or adopt an older child. (An older kid? Gross!) Ultimately, with some unlikely help from Tracy, she decided that maybe she could handle an older child. So it seems that Liz Lemon might end up with a kid by the season’s end after all.
As I said, Tracy helped Lemon come to that conclusion. He told her that since she took care of him for all these years, then surely she can handle anything. Why such insight from the office idiot? Well, Tracy learned his lesson from an equally surprising source, Octavia Spencer. The Oscar-winning actress guested as herself, playing the lead in Tracy’s Harriet Tubman movie. On set, Tracy got a taste of his own medicine as Octavia acted full-on crazy. She even had her own entourage (Mizz and Dot Gov, natch.) Tracy’s own entourage pointed out that she was just behaving exactly like he does. Realizing how impossible he is to work with, Tracy decided to channel Liz Lemon to quell Octavia’s bad habits. But some actors — particularly those who believe they are Jedis — just can’t be tamed.
But the real highlight of the episode was Jack Donaghy battling his teenage nemesis, Kaylie Hooper (Chloë Grace Moretz). Hank Hooper, the CEO of Kabletown, was ready to hand over the reins of the company to the next in line, Kaylie. So in honor of his recently deceased mother, Jack decided to take on Kaylie one last time to claim his place as leader of the company.
But he couldn’t do it alone. He was so desperate to beat out Kaylie he sought the help of Devon Banks (Will Arnett), who’d found his calling teaching spin classes. The two put aside their differences to form an alliance to take down Kaylie. Banks told Jack he could personally confirm that Kaylie’s father was gay, and subsequently not Kaylie’s birth father. Twist! She’s not even technically related to Hank! It was just the juicy tidbit Jack needed to eliminate Kaylie once and for all. (Well, not kill her, you know, but at least get her out of the running for CEO.)
NEXT: The epic conclusion of Jack vs. Kaylie and the night’s best lines…
But Kaylie’s a smart girl. She saw right through Jack’s plan and planted fake DNA to make it look like Jack was just trying to sabotage her all along. Hank Hooper would not be impressed with Jack’s scheming. Banks was never on Jack’s side, and Kaylie even turned Jenna against Jack. (The latter not being a very difficult task since Jenna just wants to be loved.) But double twist!! Jack was prepared for this all along. He never trusted Banks, and in reality, his plan was to distract Kaylie and it worked. The only thing Hank Hooper loves more than family is birthdays. And while Kaylie was busy thwarting Jack’s advances, she’d managed to forget her grandpa’s birthday. Sorry, Kaylie. Battleship sunk.
Say what you will about 30 Rock, but even in its final season the show manages to deliver so many great one-liners. Here are the top exchanges from “Game Over.”
++ “Are you doping, Liz Lemon? That stuff will shrink your testicles, but there are bad side effects as well.” —Tracy
++ Tracy: “Point is, I won’t be at rehearsal all this week.”
Liz: ” No, Tracy!”
Tracy: “Exactly. No Tracy. Thanks for being so understanding.”
++ Just because I would still totally watch this game show: “Celebrity Homonym is the No. 1 show in America!”
++ “It’ll work great! Just like Conan and Jay!” —Hank Hooper explaining to Jack how he’ll be Kaylie’s assistant CEO
++ Liz, crying: “Have you ever updated your Flash player? It is so sad. What happens to version 11.4?”
Jack: “Oh, what now?”
Liz, yelling: “I’m taking hormone shots to have a baby you son of a bitch!”
Liz, crying: “A beautiful little baby.”
Liz, laughing: “Being a woman is the worst!”
++ Jack: “You also know Jack Donaghy always wins, or have you forgotten the time we played Battleship? Remember A-8?”
Devon Banks: “You peeked!”
++ Jack: “How much time and energy have we wasted with our sparring and our gravel-voiced double entendre?”
Banks: “An ass-load.”
++ Liz: “How old is too old for a woman to have a baby?”
++ “For every orphan Annie, there’s a 30-year-old Russian dwarf who’s just pretending to be a child, according to a movie that I watched part of.” —Liz
++ “And I’ll be NBC’s head of publicity. You’ll never see me again! I’ll be on a beach somewhere!” —Banks (I always love 30 Rock‘s digs at the network)
++ “Damn it! Why do I keep helping you? I’ll just do anything for approval. I would have been a Nazi.” —Liz
++ Banks: How’d you get these DNA results back so fast?
Jack: “I happen to have some very powerful friends at The Maury Povich Show.”
What did you think of “Game Over?” How unsafe is the country if Dr. Spaceman really is the new Surgeon General of the United States? Am I the only one who’s interested in seeing Liz Lemon’s one-woman Frederick Douglass show? You know, the one deemed “too confusing to be offensive.” And who’s guest appearance did you enjoy the most: Chloë Grace Moretz, Steve Buscemi, Megan Mullally, John McEnroe, or Will Arnett? Take your “There, There” card, and sound off in the comments.
Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, and Tracy Morgan star in the Emmy-winning comedy. You want to go to there.