By Darren Franich
Updated January 08, 2013 at 10:27 PM EST

Less than a month after Michael Bay officially announced that the plot for Transformers 4 is still top-secret — which is technically true, insofar as no one knows the specific reason why the good giant robots will once again fight the evil giant robots using product placement and Victoria’s Secret models (spoiler alert)– the action-film director has offered some intriguing new hints about the upcoming fourquel. In a post on his personal website, the director explains that he has hired an unknown actor named Jack Reynor for a major role in the movie we clearly have to refer to as Trans4mers. Says Bay:

I just hired a great new actor for Transformers 4 to star against Mark Wahlberg. Jack Reynor, he is an Irish kid that came to America with 30 bucks in his pocket. Pretty ballsy. Seriously who does that? Anyway I spotted him in a great little Irish movie WHAT RICHARD DID. This kid is the real deal.

It’s not clear if, by using the phrase “star against,” Bay is implying that Reynor will be playing an antagonist of Wahlberg, or if Bay believes that all of human interaction is fundamentally antagonistic. It also doesn’t matter, because Reynor’s character is going to be (spoiler alert) “Meatbag Human Who Runs In Front Of A Greenscreen And Kisses A Victoria’s Secret Model.”

Bay goes on to talk a little bit about the movie. “Transformers 4 is not a reboot,” he explains:

This movie takes place exactly 4 years after the war in Chicago. The story makes a very natural transition, and reason as to why we have a whole new cast. This Transformers will feel very different then the last three. We are embarking on a new trilogy.

Presumably, this “natural transition” will include Shia LaBeouf’s character dying offscreen in a hilarious lawnmower accident. The idea that this Transformers will feel very different sounds intriguing, though. Perhaps, this time, the giant robots from space will transform into Ford™ trucks, or Toyota™ station wagons, or a fleet of Segway™ PTs. But only if it’s appropriate for the plot.

Now that Bay has officially confirmed that Transformers 4 is the first part of a new trilogy, stay tuned for further updates visà-vis the giant robots from space.

Follow Darren on Twitter: @DarrenFranich

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