By Sandra Gonzalez
Updated January 03, 2013 at 07:25 PM EST
Credit: Matt Brown/ABC
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Finally! The phone number bar-going Bachelor fans everywhere have been waiting for…

The clever folks behind everyone’s favorite rose parade have kicked off “The Bachelor Heartbreak Line” — a (highly entertaining) phone service that aims to let down your prospects gently.

Upon calling 212-HEARTBR (or, if you’re writing on a napkin, 212-432-7827), rejects callers are welcomed by the silky voice of Bachelor host Chris Harrison, who gives the “unfortunate news.” “Whoever gave you this number is trying to send you a message — and it’s not a good one: They don’t like you. No rose for you,” he says.

But there’s “good news.” New Bachelor Sean Lowe is there to help the caller “make it through this tough time.” How, exactly? Well, there are three ways:

If the caller presses “1”, they’re treated to a pity party, hosted by Lowe. “Man, this sucks,” he says, elaborating with a story about his own public heartbreak. Buttons “2” and “3” lead you to an uplifting poem and a rousing pep talk, respectively.

Bachelor fans, aren’t you so happy you could curl up in a ball and cry? Anyway, call me, maybe — 212-432-7827.


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