On New Year’s Eve, Nicki Minaj told reporters that one of her resolutions is to stop buying shoes. I’d like to suggest a few more articles of clothing that should be added to her list.
Whether she’s baiting Catholics in a holy trainwreck of an outfit at the Grammys or swaddling herself in bedazzled fur to play a saucy variation of Narnia’s White Witch, Nicki knows how to get the world’s attention — and I suspect she couldn’t care less about whether that attention is positive or negative.
So perhaps this PopStyle Intervention is really a celebration of ballsiness, ingenuity, and the particular brand of crazy that sees a pair of wedges covered in plush teddy bears and thinks, “Yes, this is a thing that an adult human should put on her body.” Come, friends: Let’s take a sentimental journey through the greatest sartorial missteps-slash-triumphs Nicki’s made in recent months. Starships were meant to fly — and these outfits were meant to be gawked at. SEE THE PHOTOS
Does Nicki love courting controversy? Is the Pope Catholic? Her crimson Versace habit raised eyebrows at the Grammys, as did the papal lookalike who walked the red carpet by her side. The whole ensemble smacks of Minaj ripping off Gaga ripping off Madonna. Confession: appropriating religious imagery isn’t that controversial anymore.
Oh, you know, just a casual look fit for the 2012 NBA All-Star Game. I always wear my skintight Eiffel Tower leotard, matching leggings, and pea-green LARPing vest when I’m attending a basketball match. (They are called “matches,” right?) Best part: From the back, you can see that the tower’s legs slowly morph into Minaj’s own gams, indicating that she is the Eiffel Tower. Or something. Whatever; suddenly, I’m craving stadium snacks.
Celebrities are allowed to let loose at the Kids’ Choice Awards. It is, after all, a night driven by childish whimsy and the ever-present possibility of getting doused in gooey green slime. But even so, this dress is a candy coated travesty, right down to the poor teddy bears Minaj has interred in glue and strapped to her feet. Toy Story teaches us that stuffed animals deserve better. (Side note: What the Nickelodeon is Nicki Minaj doing at the Kids’ Choice Awards? Sophia Grace aside, children definitely shouldn’t be listening to her music.)
NEXT: Lady in red
Looks like somebody raided Christina Aguilera’s wardrobe. This skintight scarlet ensemble, which Minaj wore when performing live on the Today show last summer, mixes lace with vinyl over-the-knee hooker boots and a sci-fi bondage bolero — pieces that are right in the Voice coach’s wheelhouse, if not her expansive closet. Nicki even appears to have dusted off an Xtina-inspired wig for the occasion. Could a (badly dressed) collaboration be in their future?
NEXT: Nicki salutes Barbie
How appropriate: For the release of her fragrance, Pink Friday, Nicki got all dolled up like one of her plastic idols. Although with that hat, it looks like she might be channeling (The) Skipper rather than Barbie. Then again, Barbie would never let her kid sister leave the dream house in a psychedelic bra top. So many layers here, guys.
NEXT: Nicki of the North
Baby, it’s cold onstage at the American Music Awards. Solution: Swaddle yourself in an elaborate Gloria-Swanson-meets-Abominable-Snowman coat and big Yeti boots, but no pants. Problem solved! Nicki might have actually turned more heads if she had worn demure choir robes to match the gospel chorus that backed her up during her performance — but hey, there’s always next year.
Which of these wacky outfits is your favorite (or least favorite)?