1. Total Recall
by Arnold Schwarzenegger
The very definition of air sandwich: smug, pompous, and insubstantial.
2. What Really Happened
by Rielle Hunter
John Edwards was the real cad, but Hunter’s every bit as shallow and grasping.
3. How Should a Person Be?
by Sheila Heiti
Some claim this is the book version of Girls — but the HBO show is acerbic, sharp, and witty.
4. Gorilla Beach
by Nicole ”Snooki” Polizzi
The only thing worse than this awful novel would be Snooki’s Baby Advice.
5. The Legend of Broken
by Caleb Carr
An overwrought and turgid attempt to tap into the Game of Thrones craze.