By Tara Fowler
Updated December 07, 2012 at 09:41 PM EST
Duchess Of Cambridge
Credit: Fred Duval/Getty Images

Every news agency on the planet has gone into overdrive since the palace confirmed Duchess Catherine’s pregnancy earlier this week. And though recent headlines have ranged from speculation that there may be two royal buns in the oven to the tragic story linked to a silly radio stunt, I’m here to discuss all the attention being paid to what Kate is wearing.

Don’t freak out! I’m not intervening on the royal fashion icon herself — she has the power to bring back nude pantyhose for goodness sake — I’m pointing a well-manicured finger at the various style-watchers and fashion bloggers who are already tracking Kate’s “maternity” style.

Case in point: Red Carpet Fashion Awards. RCFA, when I visit your classy website I feel like I’m at a black tie event. But was it really necessary to cover what Kate was wearing as she departed from the hospital where she was treated for acute morning sickness? Yes, it’s a gorgeous Diane von Furstenberg coat. But let’s be real: Forgetting the fact that a hospital is not a red carpet (and thus not your area of expertise) is there really any maternity style to be had here? Kate’s not even twelve weeks pregnant and no matter how hard I look, I don’t see a hint of a baby bump.

HuffPo, you’re guilty too. On hearing that Kate was enceinte, you threw together a photo gallery documenting every ensemble she wore during the time frame in which she could conceivably have, um… conceived. OMG, HRH has been wearing more coats in November and December! She must be trying to hide her pregnant belly when she goes out in public. Or you know, she could be (and stop me if this is too outlandish) covering up because it’s cold outside.

And don’t even get me started on the comparisons between Kate and Princess Diana. “…it’s time to think about maternity clothes for the Duchess,” The Hollywood Reporter tells us. Really, is it? And do we all need to be thinking about how Kate’s pregnancy wardrobe will be “slimmer, shorter, more revealing than that [of] Prince William’s mother,” who probably favored billowy smocks over elastic-waist skinny jeans because that was what pregnant women wore in the 1980s? Even worse, Entertainmentwise advises Kate to wear pieces from “top designers” instead of “go[ing] frumpy like Princess Diana.”

And this is only the beginning. What will happen as the pregnancy progresses? Will designers from Project Runway submit fantasy sketches for Kate’s maternity wear? Will expectant mothers worldwide swarm to purchase knock-off versions of the Duchess’ outfits? Will bronze casts of the royal fetus be available at novelty stores? (The horror, the horror.) This is all just beginning and yet it already feels like it will never end.

For now, let’s all just calm down. The Duchess has enough to worry about without the added pressure of having to defend her spot on the International Best Dressed List.

Kate, if you’re more comfortable wearing a pair of Juicy Couture velour lounge pants and one of Will’s old Eton College football T-shirts, you go right ahead and do that.

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